Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
When in doubt, pig out!
Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.
An imagination is a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the past, shade perceptions of the present, or paint a future so vivid that it can entice... or terrify, all depending upon how we conduct ourselves today.
Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.
Good morning is a contradiction of terms.
When all else fails, look cute.
He who fills His pockets with the Rocks of Misdeeds shall surely sink in the River of Good Fortune.
There are so many opportunities in life, that the loss of two or three capabilities is not necessarily debilitating. A handicap can give you the opportunity to focus more on art, writing, or music.
It's amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn't know what one can't do.
If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen
I stop short of being a workaholic.
I'm still a farm boy at heart. If I hadn't suffered from asthma as a child, I would be a farmer today.
I was very happy and honored to create the Professor Garfield Foundation with Ball State to make reading fun.
I thought if I could create a convincing cat I could say and do anything I wanted on the human condition.
I probably get more inspiration for human stories and idiosyncrasies than I do animal stories.
I can go everywhere and no one recognises me.
Deep fry that sucker! - Garfield
My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh.
The understatement is the English contribution to comedy.
When you're through with your cat, you can't throw it in the trash.
You have to do something when you're lying in bed. So you play with your mind.
I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of being able to really do stuff hasn't worn off - I still feel like I'm making up for lost time.
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