Frank Skinner Quotes

• You can spend your whole life trying to be popular, but at the end of the day, the size of the crowd at your funeral will be largely dictated by the weather.

  Frank Skinner

  Life, Weather, Funeral

  24 Copy quote

• A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts

  Frank Skinner

  Funny, Dog, Intelligent

  50 Copy quote

• I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.

  Frank Skinner

  Funny Relationship, Wife, Share

  14 Copy quote

• So, Arsenal have signed Arsene Wenger because his name sounds a bit like the club. How long before Man Utd sign Stefan Kuntz?

  Frank Skinner

  Soccer, Football, Men

  12 Copy quote

• We're always hearing about risk-takers whose risks paid off, but they are no braver than those whose risks end in ridicule.

  Frank Skinner

  Courage, Bravery, Risk

  8 Copy quote

• I'm world-famous in West Bromwich.

  Frank Skinner

  World, West, World Famous

  4 Copy quote

• Professional footballers - those virile young stags of our modern culture - are near perpetual fountains of sputum.

  Frank Skinner

  Culture, Modern, Fountain

  7 Copy quote

• How do I relax? This might sound slightly ridiculous but I play the ukulele for at least an hour a day and I find something really blissful about it.

  Frank Skinner

  Ukulele, Play, Relax

  10 Copy quote

• Cider was my drink because I liked the taste and it made me stupid.

  Frank Skinner

  Stupid, Cider, Taste

  28 Copy quote

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