Adam Ferrara Quotes

Quotes about:

• Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Important

  5 Copy quote

• What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, What If

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

• Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Moving, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  7 Copy quote

• As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Baby, Humor

  9 Copy quote

• I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

  Adam Ferrara

  Jobs, Father, Light

  7 Copy quote

• I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

  Adam Ferrara

  Distance, Believe, Long

  5 Copy quote

• I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Men

  6 Copy quote

• There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Religious, Humor

  6 Copy quote

• My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Sex, Father

  5 Copy quote

• Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Lying, Humor

  5 Copy quote

• I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Faces

  5 Copy quote

• I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Home, Cutting, Boys

  5 Copy quote

• The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.

  Adam Ferrara

  Girlfriend, Nice, Funny Marriage

  4 Copy quote

• I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  6 Copy quote

• I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Catholic Religion

  6 Copy quote

• You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

  12 Copy quote

• The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Fall, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Animal

  5 Copy quote

• My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Jesus, Easter

  5 Copy quote

• One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Humor, Men

  5 Copy quote

• My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

  Adam Ferrara

  Dad, Car, Guy

  5 Copy quote

• Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  7 Copy quote

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