A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.
An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce.
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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