Henry Beard Quotes

• A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Enough, Missed Ones

  47 Copy quote

• Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Tennis, Beginners

  27 Copy quote

• "Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf

  Henry Beard

  Lying, Golf, Play

  14 Copy quote

• A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Water, Balls

  16 Copy quote

• Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.

  Henry Beard

  Blessed, Golf, Player

  9 Copy quote

• Fairway: a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Two, Groups

  11 Copy quote

• Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.

  Henry Beard

  Animal, Garden, Numbers

  11 Copy quote

• A driving range is the place where golfers go to get all the good shots out of their system.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Driving, Range

  6 Copy quote

• You do not sew with a fork and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.

  Henry Beard

  Food, Knitting, Cooking

  9 Copy quote

• Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Balls, Holes

  10 Copy quote

• The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.

  Henry Beard

  Garden, Years, Definitions

  10 Copy quote

• Hoeing: A manual method of severing roots from stems of newly planted flowers and vegetables.

  Henry Beard

  Weed, Flower, Vegetables

  10 Copy quote

• Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Nonchalant, Golf Jokes

  9 Copy quote

• Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again.

  Henry Beard

  Funny, Flower, Autumn

  9 Copy quote

• Wear it if it clashes.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Clash, Ifs

  8 Copy quote

• Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.

  Henry Beard

  Golf

  7 Copy quote

• Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

  Henry Beard

  Food, Cooking, Chef

  7 Copy quote

• I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray.

  Henry Beard

  Food, Cooking, Imagine

  7 Copy quote

• Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.

  Henry Beard

  Fishing, People, Missing

  7 Copy quote

• It's often necessary to hit a second shot to really appreciate the first one.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Appreciate, Firsts

  7 Copy quote

• Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Two, Different

  7 Copy quote

• Follow through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been hit, but before the club has been thrown.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Swings, Balls

  10 Copy quote

• If the wind is in your face, you swing too hard just to get the ball through it; if the wind is at your back, you swing too hard just to see how far you can get the ball to go.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Swings, Wind

  7 Copy quote

• When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

  Henry Beard

  Golf, Two, Water

  7 Copy quote

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