I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.
I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.
I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
I am a clown, just without the painted smile.
Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.
If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.
I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.
You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.
What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.
I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.
You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.
I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.
Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.
Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.
How much do I owe you?
The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.
It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.
Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.
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