I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.
A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.
Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.
Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.
Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.
How much do I owe you?
I am a clown, just without the painted smile.
It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.
Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.
With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.
I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.
I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.
Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.
If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.
The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.
The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.
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