I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
How much do I owe you?
What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.
I am a clown, just without the painted smile.
Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.
Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.
It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.
Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.
I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.
Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.
With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.
I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.
I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.
You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.
Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.
I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.
I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.
You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.
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