Anybody who plays golf will tell you that you play against yourself.
I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.
The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.
I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.
That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.
Never take a mulligan on a par 3. A "hole in three" is not a fun story to relive.
Golf is like smoking, I have been trying to quit for years.
Retire to what? I'm a golfer and a fisherman. I've got no place to retire to.
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course?
Then I thought, with the same clubhead speed, the ball's going to go at least six times as far. There's absolutely no drag, so if you do happen to spin it, it won't slice or hook 'cause there's no atmosphere to make it turn.
G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.
The pressure makes me more intent about each shot. Pressure on the last few holes makes me play better.
A typical day in the life of a heavy metal musician consists of a round of golf and an AA meeting.
Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.
Golf is not a fair game, so why build a course fair?
The worst advice in golf is, 'Keep your head down.'
The life of the golfer is not all gloom; There's always the lies in the locker room.
In golf I am one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under a bush.
Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.
I do plan to return to golf one day. I just don't know when that day will be.
I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
I can remember running around at the age of 3, wanting to play golf, cricket and football. I was always active, one way or another, driving my parents mad.
If only I kept my eye on the ball, Looking downward as does the pro there, I might not see where it was going, at all, But there might be a chance it would go there.
My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be; An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue; Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not; to be alive, Is good enough for me.
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