Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?
Too many rocks in the mountains.
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
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