Dave Barry Quotes About Parties

Quotes about: Parties

• In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"

  Dave Barry

  Christmas, Christian, Atheist

  "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide" by Dave Barry, www.davebarry.com.

• I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

  Dave Barry

  Respect, Funny Inspirational, Party

  "Is Findlay’s water safe?". "The Courier" Interview, thecourier.com. February 15, 2016.

• As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.

  Dave Barry

  Marriage, Party, Talking

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

• A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Party, Political

  Dave Barry (2003). “Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism”, p.26, Crown Archetype

• The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Party

  "Dave Barry's Bad Habits". Book by Dave Barry, September 15, 1993.

• 9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the parties had to speak to each other manually; today one or both ends of the conversation would be carried on by a machine.

  Dave Barry

  New York, Distance, Party

• You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing at Disney World.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Party, Men

• Weddings are crazy. When you get right down to it, a wedding is a party, and not an important party, really. But for young people, it becomes the biggest thing in their lives. After it's over, they realize it wasn't that big a deal.

  Dave Barry

  Crazy, Party, People

  Source: www.chicagotribune.com

• The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

  Dave Barry

  Party, Sacrifice, Doubt

• What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.

  Dave Barry

  Witty, Stupid, Party

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.35, Ballantine Books

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