• My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She's always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction. Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I'm addicted to them. It's really annoying. So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, Do you see that, honey?... Why can't you be that skinny?

    "Anthony Jeselnik: The Dark Prince Of Comedy". "Ask Me Another" with Ophira Eisenberg, August 14, 2014.
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