People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.
You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.
No man is ever old enough to know better.
I am not young enough to know everything.
The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
All diseases run into one, old age.
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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