I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail. Without it, nothing can succeed.
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Why, of course, the people don't want war.
Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.
Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone.
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
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