Toilet Paper Quotes - Page 3

• There was no glam squad, whatsoever. There were no dressing rooms. There were no bathrooms. Let's start at our base level. We didn't have toilet paper. We went to the woods to use the bathroom.

  Katie Aselton

  Squad, Woods, Rooms

  Source: collider.com

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• We're living in a funny world kid, a peculiar civilization. The police are playing crooks in it, and the crooks are doing police duty. The politicians are preachers, and the preachers are politicians. The tax collectors collect for themselves. The Bad People want us to have more dough, and the good people are fighting to keep it from us. It's not good for us, know what I mean? If we had all we wanted to eat, we'd eat too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry. That's the way I understand it. That's about the size of some of the arguments I've heard.

  Jim Thompson

  Mean, Kids, Fighting

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• A long white ribbon shot out of the crack in the wall. The ribbon just kept coming, weaving itself into some kind of shape next to Anubis, and my first thought was, My god, he’s got a magic roll of toilet paper.

  Rick Riordan

  Wall, White, Long

  Rick Riordan (2010). “The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles Book 1): The Red Pyramid”, p.284, Penguin UK

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• Do you have someone watching her house?” (Stephanie) “That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We’re so underbudgeted we’re one step away from holding bake sales to pay for toilet paper. (Morelli)

  Janet Evanovich

  House, Paper, Toilets

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• Are people crazy? People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn't have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You waited to get married and you waited to get divorced. You waited for it to rain, you waited for it to stop. You waited to eat and then you waited to eat again. You waited in a shrink's office with a bunch of psychos and you wondered if you were one.

  Charles Bukowski

  Crazy, Rain, Sleep

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• How can you put out a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper? No dramatic art form should be dictated and controlled by men whose training and instincts are cut of an entirely different cloth. The fact remains that these gentlemen sell consumer goods, not an art form.

  Rod Serling

  Meaningful, Art, Drama

  "American Masters (Rod Serling: Submitted for Your Approval)". TV Series, November 29, 1995.

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• When you look at the sheer volume of paper usage in the U.S. alone, it's truly frightening: paper towels, toilet paper, napkins, writing paper. Our consumption of trees is endless.

  Ian Somerhalder

  Writing, Tree, Towels

  Interview with Maranda Pleasant, www.marandapleasantmedia.com.

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• My ritual it's kind of an involuntary ritual. I lie awake the night before, worrying about award ceremony. Try and think of something to write in case I actually get up there. I write it at the very last minute like either in the car on the way to the ceremony or, you know, in the bathroom before the show starts. It's all of jumbled mess written on a napkin or a piece of toilet paper. That's my good luck ritual. It's just like being in college waiting for the last minute to do everything.

  Tony Shalhoub

  Lying, Writing, Good Luck

  Source: www.movieweb.com

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• Time kept on and on like the cheapest toilet paper.

  Porochista Khakpour

  Paper, Toilets

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• I've always loved 3D. In fact, as a kid, I was exposed to 3D at an early age because my grandfather was a specialist of 3D in cinematheques. And then my cousin put it in 'Science of Sleep' with toilet paper tube cities. But he was a specialist and I always wanted to do something in 3D.

  Michel Gondry

  Cousin, Sleep, Kids

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• When you go to jail, there's so much simple stuff missing. You just want some good toilet paper or a real toothbrush, a real blanket and a real bed to lay in.

  Ja Rule

  Real, Simple, Jail

  "The Real World of Ja Rule". Interview with Zack Etheart, www.interviewmagazine.com. October 17, 2013.

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• I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wwe, Tic Tacs, Needs

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• I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

  Paula Poundstone

  Silly, Shoes, Paper

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• I have the largest collection of Hulk memorabilia in the world - everything from toilet paper, wallpaper, bicycles - all boxed up at my house in Northern California. I've had it for so long, I think it might be time to sell it.

  Lou Ferrigno

  Thinking, California, Long

  "Lou Ferrigno looks back, and luckily not in anger". Interview with William Keck, usatoday30.usatoday.com. June 16, 2008.

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• It's a topsy-turvy world in which a country can import the same amount of ice-cream, toilet paper and other goods to trading partners as it exports, and where top bankers are paid millions for destroying economic value, while hospital cleaners create value many times their pay

  Andrew Simms

  Country, Ice Cream, Economic Value

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• Our forests are not for toilet paper. They are worth more standing than cut. That deserves to be defended, not only by native peoples but also by environmentalists.

  Winona LaDuke

  Cutting, Paper, Toilets

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• Individuals interested in donating can call The Bridge. We do still need food, paper products, money, cleaning supplies - if people could call and coordinate donations. People loved donating clothing to The Bridge - it was an avenue; if they could put their focus on collecting cleaning supplies - toilet paper, food etc. - these items are a priority.

  Maggie Elizabeth Jones

  Bridges, People, Focus

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• Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Jobs, Lying, Humorous

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.42, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• The former police chief of Houston once said of me: "Frank Abagnale could write a check on toilet paper, drawn on the Confederate States Treasury, sign it 'U.R. Hooked' and cash it at any bank in town, using a Hong Kong driver's license for identification."

  Frank Abagnale

  Writing, Police, Houston

  "Catch Me if You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake". Book by Frank W. Abagnale, 1989.

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• Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.

  Jonas Eriksson

  Writing, Humble, Paper

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• I've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It's been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I've never been invited! If I ever saw the invitation, I'd use it as toilet paper.

  Joan Rivers

  Suicide, Party, Fire

  "Joan Rivers Interview: Her 6 Best One-Liners" by Merle Ginsberg, www.hollywoodreporter.com. June 12, 2013.

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• The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out.

  Neal Schon

  Running, Paper, Toilets

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• When you consider all the writers who never even had a machine. Who would have given an eyeball for a good typewriter. Any typewriter. All the ones who wrote on a matchbook covers. Paper bags. Toilet paper. Who had their writing destroyed by their jailers. Who persisted beyond all odds.

  Sam Shepard

  Writing, Odds, Typewriters

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• I really can't be bothered going to a barber. And shaving every morning, that's nightmarish. I spent my teenage years covered in tiny little bits of toilet paper.

  Alan Moore

  Morning, Teenage, Years

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• Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.

  Allen Hershkowitz

  Age, Generations, Looks

  "American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'" by Suzanne Goldenberg, www.theguardian.com. February 26, 2009.

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