Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone.
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
You can change only what people know, not what they do.
I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
The only risk of failure is promotion.
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.
If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
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