Scott Adams Quotes - Page 9

Quotes about:

• Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."

  Scott Adams

  Time, Tea Leaves, Tarot

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• Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.

  Scott Adams

  Truth, Reality, Perception

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• Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

  Scott Adams

  Writing, Science, Data

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• Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

  Scott Adams

  People, Decision, Talent

  Scott Adams (2011). “This Is the Part Where You Pretend to Add Value: A Dilbert Book”, p.98, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).

  Scott Adams

  Country, Stupid, Thinking

  Scott Adams (2007). “Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!: Cartoonist Explains Cloning, Blouse Monsters, Voting Machines, Romance, Monkey G ods, How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rodent, and More”, p.446, Penguin

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• Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

  Scott Adams

  Science, Thinking, Machines

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• Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

  Scott Adams

  Inspirational, Stress, Body

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• I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

  Scott Adams

  Thinking, People, Age

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• I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

  Scott Adams

  Love, Valentines Day, Food

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• I try to avoid giving advice.

  Scott Adams

  Giving, Advice, Trying

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• The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed, the children who are our future are good-looking, but they aren't all that bright. As dense as they might be, they will eventually notice that adults have spent all the money, spread disease, and turned the planet into a smoky, filthy ball of death. We're raising an entire generation of dumb, pissed-off kids who know where the handguns are kept. This is not a good recipe for a happy future.

  Scott Adams

  Children, Future, Kids

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• I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'

  Scott Adams

  Sometimes, Restaurants, Draws

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• One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

  Scott Adams

  Brain, Way, Tiny

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• Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.

  Scott Adams

  Children, Reason, Dilbert

  "'Dilbert' cartoonist Scott Adams draws feminist outrage" by Jeff Labrecque, www.ew.com. March 30, 2011.

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• Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.

  Scott Adams

  Home, Office, Easier

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• One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.

  Scott Adams

  Drawing, Style, Reason Why

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• The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

  Scott Adams

  Food, Wedding Anniversary, Wife

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• Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there

  Scott Adams

  Men, World, Mail

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• There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

  Scott Adams

  Funny Work, Marketing, Lines

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• I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

  Scott Adams

  Wife, Legs, Jeeves

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• Home is pretty utopian.

  Scott Adams

  Home, Utopian

  "'Dilbert' creator on working at home, getting his voice back". CNN.com Interview, www.cnn.com. November 7, 2007.

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• Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.

  Scott Adams

  Rest Of Life

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• Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.

  Scott Adams

  Vocabulary, Brain, Limits

  Scott Adams (2004). “God's Debris: A Thought Experiment”, p.39, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

  Scott Adams

  Running, Long, People

  Scott Adams (2011). “Thriving on Vague Objectives: A Dilbert Collection”, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

  Scott Adams

  Long, World, Natural

  "Dilbert blog: The Benefits of Getting Old". August 2006.

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