Failure is a resource that can be managed.
Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.
Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do.
These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.
I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
I think the pleasure of completed work is what makes blogging so popular. You have to believe most bloggers have few if any actual readers. The writers are in it for other reasons. Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn. All you get is the pleasure of a completed task.
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
My investments have been hurt.
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.
You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead nor alive until we dig him up and open the casket. If he's alive, he might want his brain back, which I understand is in a Ziplock bag in some guy's freezer. And this is a perfect example of why examples always distract from the main point.
I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.
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