Christopher Moore Quotes - Page 7

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• She laughed. My favorite music.

  Christopher Moore

  My Favorite, Favorite Music, Laughed

  5 Copy quote

• It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)

  Christopher Moore

  Stars, Eight, Four

  4 Copy quote

• It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.

  Christopher Moore

  Cheer, Men, Self

  4 Copy quote

• If there was anything I learned from John the Baptist, it was that the sooner you confess a mistake, the quicker you can get on to making new and better mistakes.

  Christopher Moore

  Mistake, Baptists, John The Baptist

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Lamb: A Novel”, p.145, Hachette UK

  4 Copy quote

• Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.

  Christopher Moore

  Groups, Etc, Coworker

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Fool: A Novel”, p.6, Harper Collins

  4 Copy quote

• ...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.

  Christopher Moore

  Beautiful, Thinking, Evil

  5 Copy quote

• It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.

  Christopher Moore

  People, Good People

  4 Copy quote

• Don't bruise the Foo!

  Christopher Moore

  Bruises

  4 Copy quote

• You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?" "It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize." "Must be a human thing." "Exactly.

  Christopher Moore

  Differences, Trying, Morality

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.93, Zondervan

  4 Copy quote

• Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.

  Christopher Moore

  Dog, Winter, Sharks

  14 Copy quote

• Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?" And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.

  Christopher Moore

  Cutting, Hair, Skills

  4 Copy quote

• An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.

  Christopher Moore

  Skulls, Cracks, Original Thought

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• Mr. Fresh looked up. "The book says if we don't do our jobs everything could go dark, become like the Underworld. I don't know what the Underworld is like, Mr. Asher, but I've caught some of the road show from there a couple of times, and I'm not interested in finding out. How 'bout you?" "Maybe it's Oakland," Charlie said. "What's Oakland?" "The Underworld." "Oakland is not the Underworld!" "The Tenderloin?" Charlie suggested.

  Christopher Moore

  Jobs, Couple, Book

  4 Copy quote

• Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop.

  Christopher Moore

  Clothes, Humanity, Noses

  4 Copy quote

• It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread, who am I?

  Christopher Moore

  Past, Guilt, Moments

  4 Copy quote

• Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.

  Christopher Moore

  Ducks, Paper, Pants

  4 Copy quote

• . . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it’s unsettling.

  Christopher Moore

  Upset, Beavers, Mute

  4 Copy quote

• . . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.

  Christopher Moore

  Army, Animal, Knitting

  8 Copy quote

• One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.

  Christopher Moore

  One Day, Rolling, Circus

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.79, Zondervan

  7 Copy quote

• I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.

  Christopher Moore

  Lice, Harem

  9 Copy quote

• For a while he'd tried molding himself into the tragic Romantic hero, brooding and staring clench-jawed off into space as he composed dark verse in his head. But it turned out that trying to appear tragic in Incontinence, Indiana, was redundant, and his mother kept shouting at him and making him forget his rhymes. "Tommy, if you keep grinding your teeth like that, they'll wear away and you'll have to have dentures like Aunt Ester." Tommy only wished his beard was as heavy as Aunt Ester's---then he could stare out over the moors while he stroked it pensively.

  Christopher Moore

  Mother, Hero, Dark

  4 Copy quote

• Moses should have said "Let my people go. Please."

  Christopher Moore

  Should Have, People, Moses

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Lamb: A Novel”, p.80, Hachette UK

  4 Copy quote

• I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said. "Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed." "How is it like a mustard seed?" "You don't know, do you? Doesn't seem at all like a mustard seed, does it? Now you see how we all feel when you liken things unto a mustard seed? Huh?

  Christopher Moore

  Thinking, Doe, Mustard Seed

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• We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said, "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?" Does a fish have a watertight asshole?" said Coyote.

  Christopher Moore

  Dog, Car, Coyotes

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• After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.

  Christopher Moore

  Running, Facts, Lost

  4 Copy quote

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