Christopher Moore Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Oh, I would while away the hours, Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song, I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie, If I only had a schlong.

  Christopher Moore

  Song, Flower, Heart

  11 Copy quote

• Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon.

  Christopher Moore

  Fall, Laos, Lao Tzu

  6 Copy quote

• And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.

  Christopher Moore

  Pain, Rejection, Black

  Christopher Moore (2010). “Bite Me”, p.83, Hachette UK

  12 Copy quote

• The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.

  Christopher Moore

  Angel, Men, Years

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal”, p.29, Harper Collins

  5 Copy quote

• Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.

  Christopher Moore

  Nice, Rehab, Lasts

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel (v2.0): A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.24, Harper Collins

  7 Copy quote

• He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.

  Christopher Moore

  Pride, Want, Acknowledge

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.125, Hachette UK

  10 Copy quote

• The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.

  Christopher Moore

  Doctors, Waiting Rooms, Boring

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.57, Zondervan

  5 Copy quote

• Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?

  Christopher Moore

  Couple, Giving, Guy

  9 Copy quote

• All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.

  Christopher Moore

  Trying, Knows, Ifs

  4 Copy quote

• Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy

  Christopher Moore

  Pieces, Kind, Life Is

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.166, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

• For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.

  Christopher Moore

  Loyalty, Responsibility, Sacrifice

  5 Copy quote

• Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

  Christopher Moore

  Thinking, Vampire, Agree

  7 Copy quote

• The Winter Woman is as wild as a blizzard, as fresh as new snow. While some see her as cold, she has a fiery heart under that ice-queen exterior. She likes the stark simplicity of Japanese art and the daring complexity of Russian literature. She prefers sharp to flowing lines, brooding to pouting, and rock and roll to country and western. Her drink is vodka, her car is German, her analgesic is Advil. The Winter Woman likes her men weak and her coffee strong. She is prone to anemia, hysteria, and suicide.

  Christopher Moore

  Suicide, Country, Art

  23 Copy quote

• Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.

  Christopher Moore

  Desire, Wrecks, Want

  4 Copy quote

• If you like what you're reading, I probably wrote it.

  Christopher Moore

  Reading, Ifs

  5 Copy quote

• If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. If you are here to be offended, may your ire rise and your blood boil. If you seek an adventure, may this song sing you away to blissful escape. If you need to test or confirm your beliefs, may you reach comfortable conclusions. All books reveal perfection, by what they are or what they are not. May you find that which you seek, in these pages or outside them. May you find perfection, and know it by name.

  Christopher Moore

  Song, Laughter, Book

  5 Copy quote

• San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and light, often overlapping each other. It's a great setting for a horror story.

  Christopher Moore

  Beautiful, Dark, Light

  10 Copy quote

• I've won Satan's lottery.

  Christopher Moore

  Satan, Lottery

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story”, p.18, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

• From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.

  Christopher Moore

  Hip Hop, Dialect, Way

  "OMFG, Horatio!" by Christopher Moore, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 23, 2010.

  24 Copy quote

• Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.

  Christopher Moore

  Whales, Car, Police

  8 Copy quote

• They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.

  Christopher Moore

  Dream, Mirrors, Alive

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story”, p.83, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

• Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit

  Christopher Moore

  Bulletproof, Hard

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Coyote Blue: A Novel”, p.226, Simon and Schuster

  6 Copy quote

• Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell

  Christopher Moore

  Love, Marriage, Thinking

  "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal". Book by Christopher Moore, 2002.

  4 Copy quote

• She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.

  Christopher Moore

  People, Special, Different

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Bloodsucking Fiends: Book 1: Love Story Series”, p.137, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

• Tommy moved on. "Lash, your people have been oppressed for hundreds of years. It's time to strike back. Look, you don't have your MBA yet - they haven't completely juiced you of your usefulness yet. Would Martin Luther King back down from this challenge? Malcolm X? James Brown? Don't you have a dream? Don't you feel good, like you knew that you would, now?

  Christopher Moore

  Dream, Kings, Years

  5 Copy quote

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