Lottery Quotes

• Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Money, Epic

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• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Money, Math

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• I have never played the lottery in my life and never will. Voltaire described lotteries as a tax on stupidity. More specifically, I think, on innumeracy.

  Daniel Tammet

  Thinking, Stupidity, Taxes

  "This much I know" by John Hind, www.theguardian.com. January 31, 2009.

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• Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

  Matt Groening

  Funny, Life, Humor

  "Fictional character: Homer Simpson". "The Simpsons". Season 4, Episode 1: "Kamp Krusty", www.imdb.com. September 24, 1992.

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• The universe will throw somebody a bone every now and then, and you win the lottery. But for the most part, you get in this life what you put in.

  Arian Foster

  Winning, Bones, Now And Then

  "'Cerebral' Houston RB Arian Foster goes from undrafted to unstoppable". www.foxnews.com. September 16, 2010.

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• I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Money, Winning

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• Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

  Bill Watterson

  Winning, Snow, Hobbes

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• There's a wonderful old Italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint,'Dear saint-please, please, please...give me the grace to win the lottery.' This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue come to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust,'My son-please, please, please...buy a ticket.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Son, Italian, Winning

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• Tho marriage be a lottery in which there are a wondrous many blanks, yet there is one inestimable lot in which the only heaven on earth is written.

  John Vanbrugh

  Heaven, Earth, Written

  Colley Cibber, Sir Richard Steele, George Farquhar, sir John Vanbrugh, William Congreve (1765). “THE ENGLISH THEATRE IN EIGHT VOLUMES: CONTAINING The Most Valuable PLAYS Which Have Been Acted on the LONDON STAGE.. INCONSTANT. By Mr. Farzuhar ; LOVE FOR LOVE. By Mr. Congreve ; LOVE MAKES A MAN. By C. Cibber, Esq. ; LYING LOVER. By Sir Rich. Steele ; PROVOKED WIFE. By Sir John Vanbrugh. VOL. V.”

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• Luck is not as random as you think. Before that lottery ticket won the jackpot, someone had to buy it.

  Vera Nazarian

  Thinking, Luck, Tickets

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• I despise the Lottery. There's less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit on the head by a passing asteroid.

  Brian May

  Funny, Money, Asteroids

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Fall, Fate, Odds

  Elizabeth Gilbert (2009). “Eat Pray Love: One Woman's Search for Everything”, p.186, Bloomsbury Publishing

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• I'm happy to be reminded that an ordinary day full of nothing but nothingness can make you feel like you've won the lottery.

  Susan Orlean

  Ordinary Days, Like You, Feels

  "Snow Day" by Susan Orlean, www.newyorker.com. January 12, 2011.

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• Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life.

  Cecil Rhodes

  Firsts, Remember, Englishmen

  In Peter Ustinov 'Dear Me' (1977) ch. 4

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• You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats

  Jay Leno

  Two, Winner, Democrat

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• Professionally, I feel like I won the lottery and I am the luckiest person in the entire world.

  Jonah Hill

  World, Feels, Persons

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• I think people really marry far too much; it is such a lottery after all, and for a poor woman a very doubtful happiness.

  Queen Victoria

  Happiness, Marriage, Thinking

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• Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater the number of your tickets the nearer your approach to this certainty.

  Adam Smith

  Travel, Business, Adventure

  Adam Smith (2016). “Delphi Complete Works of Adam Smith (Illustrated)”, p.531, Delphi Classics

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• People would love to be rich, but they're looking for the easy way. Who wouldn't want to win the lottery? Just to score.

  Bryan Cranston

  Winning, People, Want

  "Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul discuss their cutthroat relationship on 'Breaking Bad'". Interview with Glenn Whipp, articles.latimes.com. June 10, 2010.

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• I would like to make it possible for many women and men in Latin America to win the lottery and receive the type of reproductive health services they so urgently need.

  Ruth Simmons

  Latin, Winning, Men

  Source: quod.lib.umich.edu

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• Hope drives us to invent new fixes for old messes, which in turn create ever more dangerous messes. Hope elects the politician with the biggest empty promise; and as any stockbroker or lottery seller knows, most of us will take a slim hope over prudent and predictable frugality. Hope, like greed, fuels the engine of capitalism.

  Margaret Atwood

  Greed, Promise, Fuel

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• Today I bought two lottery tickets, because I had a feeling that it would be now or never - they were both blanks. So I am not going to be rich after all. Nothing at all to be done about it.

  Eva Braun

  Two, Feelings, Would Be

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• My support group - my mom, my dad, my sisters, my brothers-in-law, my immediate nieces and nephews, my immediate family like Aunt Donna - I know I can trust them. Most of the other people...they never called me before, they never said "I love you" before, they never wanted to take a picture with me at family reunions. It's like, don't do it now...You win the lottery and all of a sudden everybody's your best friend.

  Carrie Underwood

  Mom, Brother, Dad

  Source: www.glamour.com

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• Winning the lottery is winning the lottery. It's highly unlikely and very unusual.

  Lori Lansens

  Winning, Unusual, Unlikely

  Source: www.elle.com

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• We all have won the lottery of life. How do we discharge that responsibility?

  Sheryl WuDunn

  Responsibility, Discharge

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