Christopher Moore Quotes - Page 6

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• He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.

  Christopher Moore

  Mean, Guy, Kung Fu

  7 Copy quote

• In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.

  Christopher Moore

  Slime

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.90, Zondervan

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• It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.

  Christopher Moore

  Men, Personality, Talent

  4 Copy quote

• Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.

  Christopher Moore

  House, Suffering, Needs

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• The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.

  Christopher Moore

  Beast, Dear

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.67, Zondervan

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• One can't be free without action.

  Christopher Moore

  Action

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Lamb: A Novel”, p.180, Hachette UK

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• Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.

  Christopher Moore

  Girl, Mean, Awkward

  9 Copy quote

• The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.

  Christopher Moore

  Children, Hero, Angel

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal”, p.12, Harper Collins

  8 Copy quote

• The medium obscured the message.

  Christopher Moore

  Messages, Mediums

  4 Copy quote

• You know, there's a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I'll bet I can do it in six.

  Christopher Moore

  Gambling, Six, Steps

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• Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy.

  Christopher Moore

  Weed, Doors, Smoking

  4 Copy quote

• So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need

  Christopher Moore

  Needs

  Christopher Moore (2009). “A Dirty Job: A Novel”, p.298, Hachette UK

  4 Copy quote

• I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.

  Christopher Moore

  Real, People, Events

  Christopher Moore (2009). “A Dirty Job: A Novel”, p.29, Harper Collins

  4 Copy quote

• He has the attention span of a hummingbird.

  Christopher Moore

  Attention, Attention Span, Hummingbirds

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.153, Hachette UK

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• ...then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted "She Walks in Beauty," which is like my favorite poem next to the one by Baudelaire about his girlfriend being nothing but worm food, except that Lily called that one first because Baudelaire is her fave poet and so she got the shirt with him on it, even though Byron is way more scrumptious and I would do him on sharp gravel if I had the chance. --from The Chronicles of Abby Normal

  Christopher Moore

  Girlfriend, Lilies, Abby

  Christopher Moore (2009). “You Suck”, p.66, Hachette UK

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• Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal

  Christopher Moore

  Doors, Hey, Littles

  Christopher Moore (2010). “Bite Me”, p.28, Hachette UK

  4 Copy quote

• All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

  Christopher Moore

  Whales, Killer Whales, Kevin

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• No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.

  Christopher Moore

  Brain, Furniture, Eating

  4 Copy quote

• No theory ever benefited by the application of data, Amy. Data kills theories. A theory has no better time than when it's lying there naked, pure, unsullied by facts. Let's just keep it that way for a while." "So you don't really have a theory?" "Clueless." "You lying bag of fish heads." "I can fire you, you know. Even if Clay was the one that hired you, I'm not totally superfluous to this operation yet. I'm kind of in charge. I can fire you. Then how will you live?" "I'm not getting paid." "See, right there. Perfectly good concept ruined by the application of fact.

  Christopher Moore

  Lying, Clueless, Fire

  4 Copy quote

• So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast. "This is death toast sweety.

  Christopher Moore

  Daughter, Said, Charlie

  4 Copy quote

• She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.

  Christopher Moore

  Baby, Males, Sophie

  Christopher Moore (2009). “A Dirty Job: A Novel”, p.10, Harper Collins

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• The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens."I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting." Him." Pardon?" It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.

  Christopher Moore

  Sorry, Light, Rays

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.88, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

• The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.

  Christopher Moore

  Gone, Bigs, Drawers

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• Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.

  Christopher Moore

  Children, Laughing, Judging

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Coyote Blue: A Novel”, p.20, Simon and Schuster

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• The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.

  Christopher Moore

  Doors, Dragons, Nuts

  4 Copy quote

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