Conan O'Brien Quotes About Running

Quotes about: Running

• Marco Rubio announced he's running for president. Fun fact: Marco Rubio's wife is a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader. In other words, she knows how to generate fake enthusiasm for someone who's not going to win.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Fun, Winning

• Hillary Clinton is not the first woman to run for president. That title belongs to Victoria Woodhull, who ran for president in 1872. Her running mate was a young, scrappy John McCain.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, President, Titles

• The drug lord is on the run. His name is El Chapo. Donald Trump is in a Twitter feud with this Mexican drug lord. It's historic - the first time Americans have ever sided with a Mexican drug lord.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Names, Mexican

• Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Ohio, Yesterday

• Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won Apprentice. Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Men, Yesterday

• Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Hate, Ideas

• During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

  Conan O'Brien

  Marriage, Running, Gay

• California's 74-year-old Senator Barbara Boxer announced she will not run for re-election in 2016. When I saw the headline '74-Year-Old Boxer,' I assumed they were making another 'Rocky' movie.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Years, California

• Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Mean, President

• Critics say it's illegal for Donald Trump to run for president while hosting a TV show. It's also illegal to run for president if your hair wasn't born in this country.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Country, Hair

• The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, War, Fighting

• Jeb Bush welcomed his fourth grandchild. The new Bush grandchild is happy, healthy, and will be running for president in 2048.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Grandchildren, Healthy

• In Montana, a math teacher is running for the Senate. Win or lose, she plans on demanding a recount because math is fun.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Teacher, Fun

• Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter has filed papers to run for president. But in his official filing, he misspelled the word 'president.' Political experts say it's all part of Hunter's plan to attract Bush supporters.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Political, President

• It's starting to look like Donald Trump may be a serious presidential candidate. If you're in my line of work, Trump running for president for real is the greatest thing that has ever happened.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Real, Presidential

• Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and kills the person who suggested he run for governor.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Roles, Schwarzenegger

• Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, New York, Cities

• Donald Trump refuses to give details about his policy plans. Trump apologized by saying, 'When I announced I was running for president, I had no idea people would take me seriously.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Ideas, People

• People are already talking about the next presidential election. There's stories all over about who might run. At a recent speech, a prominent Democrat said that Hillary Clinton should not run because she can't win. Immediately after the speech, Hillary told her husband to shut up.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Husband, Winning

• In the press this week, NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I'm such an idiot they now want me to run the network.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Book, Thinking

• Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Country, California

• Barry Bonds in the news. Yesterday Barry Bonds' agent said that Bonds could hit as many as 1,000 home runs. And the agent admitted he's on more drugs than Barry Bonds.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Home, Yesterday

• Texas senator and tea party favorite Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He pledged to lead America boldly forward into the 1950s.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Party, Texas

• Herman Cain compared his run for president to Moses leading his people out of Egypt. Cain said it took Moses 40 years to lead his people out of Egypt, but he could do it in 30 minutes or less.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Egypt, Years

• Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters - all of whom are late night comedians.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Night, Comedian

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