I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.
Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.
A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.
She kissed her way into society. I don't like her. But don't misunderstand me: my dislike is purely platonic.
People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.
Cynicism is the humour of hatred
I'll have that one, please.
A charming fellow, and so clever: he models himself on me.
God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.
The national sport of England is obstacle-racing. People fill their rooms with useless and cumbersome furniture, and spend the rest of their lives in trying to dodge it.
The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.
Cynicism is the humor of hatred.
Every man is a potential genius until he does something.
He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.
A whipper-snapper of criticism who quoted dead languages to hide his ignorance of life.
As far as I could discover, the notion that a play could succeed without any further help from the actor than a simple impersonation of his part never occurred to Tree.
A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.
It depends on each and every one of me.
Sirs, I have tested your machine. It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long-felt want.
My poor fellow, why not carry a watch?
When I pass my name in such large letters I blush, but at the same time instinctively raise my hat.
Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you.
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