Stephen Colbert Quotes - Page 12

Quotes about:

• If I ever succumbed to the demon on my shoulder going, "You should get something special because you're famous," that is the moment that my behavior will be caught on social media for all time. I'm even afraid to use it to get a reservation. This is the person who will tweet, "Can you believe what this a-hole did?"

  Stephen Colbert

  Believe, Special, Social Media

  Source: www.elle.com

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• Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.

  Stephen Colbert

  Christian, Mistake, America

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• The most common thing that real reporters say to me is, "I wish I could say what you say." What I don't understand is, why can't they say what I say, even in their own way? Does that mean they want to be able to name certain bald contradictions or hypocrisies that politicians have?

  Stephen Colbert

  Real, Mean, Names

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• Trump will not respond to reasoned argument. He will not be held accountable for the things he said. All you can do is point and laugh. Because the devil cannot abide mockery.

  Stephen Colbert

  Laughing, Devil, Argument

  Source: www.elle.com

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• My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'

  Stephen Colbert

  Character, Self, Giving

  "Colbert spoofs cable news on Daily Show spinoff". Associated Press report, October 31, 2005.

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• Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.

  Stephen Colbert

  Tomorrow, Better Tomorrow

  Twitter post from May 12, 2011

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• If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.

  Stephen Colbert

  Heart, Perfect, Way

  Source: www.wbur.org

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• (Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock

  Stephen Colbert

  Rocks, Salinger

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• In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.

  Stephen Colbert

  Gay, Gay Marriage, Monkeys

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• You can't swallow and think about your tongue. If you think about your tongue, you've got a giant piece of meat in your mouth and that's a terrible feeling.

  Stephen Colbert

  Thinking, Feelings, Meat

  Source: www.slate.com

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• We're not talking about truth, we're talking about something that seems like truth - the truth we want to exist.

  Stephen Colbert

  Talking, Want, Seems

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• I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

  Stephen Colbert

  Teenager, School, Newspapers

  Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com.

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• John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.

  Stephen Colbert

  Block, Confirmation, Habit

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• Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?

  Stephen Colbert

  Jobs, Stupid, Fighting

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• Everything in nature has found a niche, a perfect harmony of balance. Man need to find his niche, his perfect balance, where he fits in the natural cycle

  Stephen Colbert

  Men, Perfect, Balance

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• I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

  Stephen Colbert

  Doe, News, Junkie

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.

  Stephen Colbert

  Christian, Jesus, Believe

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• I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

  Stephen Colbert

  Host, Minutes, Producers

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• Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.

  Stephen Colbert

  Horse, Dark, Black

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• I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.

  Stephen Colbert

  Father, Fanatics

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• News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.

  Stephen Colbert

  Blue, Jeans, Religion

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• Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.

  Stephen Colbert

  Vintage, Dying

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• I believed in global warming after Al Gore's movie made money; the market had spoken.

  Stephen Colbert

  Als, Global Warming, Made

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• I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.

  Stephen Colbert

  Laughing, News, Use

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• The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.

  Stephen Colbert

  Grief, Thinking, Interesting

  "Stephen Colbert: The Playboy Interview". Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.ericspitznagel.com. October 27, 2012.

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