Christopher Titus Quotes About Dad

Quotes about: Dad

• A black widow loves her mate then kills him. A praying mantis loves her mate then eats him. Women love my dad, but he's too big to eat.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Praying Mantis, Black

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there's someone out there who's your soulmate, your best friend, your lover. My dad always told me that when you find that person, "You gotta nail her"!

  Christopher Titus

  Soulmate, Dad, Believe

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Booty, Life Is

  "Titus" (TV Series), www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• My dad also survived five divorces, and the women he married cleaned his ass out every time. I used to think my dad got divorced because he wanted new furniture. At one point in my life, all we had left was a wooden box, a 12 black-and-white TV, and a four-man rubber raft for a couch. And yet, I was the coolest kid in third grade. Mom, can we have a sleepover in Christopher Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can row to breakfast in the morning. I can actually be Captain Crunch!

  Christopher Titus

  Mom, Morning, Dad

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• The closer you get to death, the more alive you feel. Dylan Thomas wrote, Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. My dad always taught me to live like that. Dad wrote a poem too. It goes, Dune buggies. Woohoo!

  Christopher Titus

  Good Night, Dad, Light

  "Titus / When I Say Jump". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• Everybody's a racist. It's the one human trait that makes us all exactly the same. Deep down, we only like people who are exactly like us. And it doesn't matter. White. Black. Red. Yellow. Purple, uh oh, the purple people, are the worst. Man. All prejudiced and birth marky. But, we've got to learn to get past our differences. I learned that at the museum of tolerance. After my dad beat the crap out of a guy over a parking spot.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Past, Men

  "Titus / Too Damn Good". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• To be successful in life, there are many hurdles you have to get over. For me, the biggest hurdle to success has always been failure. But, growing up, my Dad was always positive... that I'd never amount to anything.

  Christopher Titus

  Success, Growing Up, Dad

  "The Smell of Success". "Titus" (TV Series), m.imdb.com. 2001.

• Dad is a new person. A person who has learned that forgiveness is better then revenge. Next year, we'll teach him that heart attacks are not like women. You just can't keep having them!

  Christopher Titus

  Revenge, Dad, Heart

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• I had a real job at fourteen years old. At seventeen, I was on my own. At twenty, I cut the liver out of a drifter and gave it to my father! 'Cause my dad's a drinker and I love my dad. And for eighty bucks, you can do anything in Mexico!

  Christopher Titus

  Jobs, Dad, Father

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• My dad don't like lies. He says it hurts people in the long race. He prefers the truth. That hurts them instantly.

  Christopher Titus

  Hurt, Truth, Dad

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in common. My whole life, all I ever wanted was my dad to pat me on the top of the head and go, Who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy? But, instead, all he ever did was wipe peanut butter on the end of my nose and laugh while I tried to lick it off.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Acceptance, Boys

  "Titus / Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• When you screw up, you got to pay the price. Shoot up a supermarket, you go to jail. Ride a motorcycle without a helmet, permanent brain damage and in California you're getting a ticket. Too chatty on a date with my dad, well, he'll push you in front of a cross town bus. Of course, you know, I'm speaking metaphorically. My dad will push you in front of any bus.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Pay The Price, California

  "Titus / Three Strikes". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• If you ask my dad for help... he'll help. Like a vulture helps an over-run armadillo on a Texas highway. One peck at the time.

  Christopher Titus

  Running, Dad, Texas

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• A salamander can grow a new tail in three weeks. My dad can score new tail in three minutes.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Three, Tails

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, "Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!"

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Fighting

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Every weekend, I would get the drunk driving lecture. Of course, Dad drank and drove all the time. I guess it wasn't a lecture; it was helpful tips from the master.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Weekend, Drunk

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• My father, never chooses me for anything. Unless he needs a human shield. Thirty years and all I am to him is a hunk of meat to block buck shot. Told you dad needed me. Who's the best man now?

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Father, Block

  "Titus / Episode 27". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• How far would you go for someone you love ? I heard this story, about this woman, who actually lifted a car off of her baby. 'Course I would have said, Dude! Back up. But, wasn't my kid. When I was born, if I'd have known all the stuff my dad was going to do for me, I'd have crawled right back in.

  Christopher Titus

  Baby, Dad, Kids

  "Titus / The Test". www.imdb.com. 2000.

• Growing up, road trips with Dad were something I hated. Sitting still for hours, singing that stupid song, "100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer..." Dad, you know, keeping up with the song.

  Christopher Titus

  Song, Wall, Growing Up

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.

  Christopher Titus

  Encouragement, Dad, Support

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind.

  Christopher Titus

  Hurt, Powerful, Dad

  "Titus / The Test (". www.imdb.com. 2000.

• There's a one in six billion chance you'll find your soul mate. And that's if they're not dead. At best they're probably living in some Siberian ice cave eating bugs and weaving beads into their back hair. But they're out there. My dad believed that to find your perfect soul mate, first, you had to look through a bunch of other guys' soul mates.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Hair, Ice

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

• If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move with the people whose lives it's going to affect. Like George Washington, had to get all those guys who the British killed to agree to die. Neil Armstrong, had to crank a couple of elbows into Buzz Aldrin's face mask to make sure he got on the moon first. And Christopher Titus, well, he worked his dad for five grand. Ha ha. Who can't support who ? I know, it's complicated.

  Christopher Titus

  Couple, Dad, Moving

  "The Gift of the Car Guy". "Titus" (TV Series), m.imdb.com. 2001.

• Of course, here's the weird part. After I fought my dad, all of a sudden we're buddies now. Like he's my friend now, we start hanging out. But we're still the same people. So we'd go out on Sunday, you know, and just be hanging out, then he'd, like, pick a guy, and we'd just go beat the crap out of that guy as a team. Memories, huh?

  Christopher Titus

  Memories, Dad, Team

  "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding". www.imdb.com. 2004.

• I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Lying, Night

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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