Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.
All that glitters is sold as gold.
Indoors or out, no one relaxes In March, that month of wind and taxes, The wind will presently disappear, The taxes last us all the year.
All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.
O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor.
When there are monsters there are miracles.
You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.
Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.
I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.
The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good.
Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.
The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: