Joseph Heller Quotes - Page 2

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• Major Major had lied, and it was good. He was not really surprised that it was good, for he had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful and ambitious and successful than people who did not lie.

  Joseph Heller

  Lying, Successful, People

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.98, Simon and Schuster

  8 Copy quote

• You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate." "Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.

  Joseph Heller

  Hate, Hypocrite, People

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.395, Simon and Schuster

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• The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

  Joseph Heller

  Three, Texan, Be Good

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.

  Joseph Heller

  Men, Moral, Motivated

  10 Copy quote

• The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.

  Joseph Heller

  Night, Nuts, World

  12 Copy quote

• Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.

  Joseph Heller

  Leadership, Fun, Remember

  5 Copy quote

• What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, War, Fighting

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.323, Simon and Schuster

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• Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

  Joseph Heller

  Good Luck, Simple, Destiny

  Joseph Heller (1997). “God Knows”, p.20, Simon and Schuster

  18 Copy quote

• So many things were testing his faith. There was the Bible, of course, but the Bible was a book, and so were Bleak House, Treasure Island, Ethan Frome and The Last of the Mohicans. Did it then seem probable, as he had once overheard Dunbar ask, that the answers to riddles of creation would be supplied by people too ignorant to understand the mechanics of rainfall? Had Almighty God, in all His infinite wisdom, really been afraid that men six thousand years ago would succeed in building a tower to heaven?

  Joseph Heller

  Book, Men, Islands

  53 Copy quote

• Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.

  Joseph Heller

  Funny, Success, Suicide

  1975 Interview in Playboy, Jun.

  15 Copy quote

• ...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.

  Joseph Heller

  Dying, Worth Living

  21 Copy quote

• It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Winning, Differences

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.122, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Business, Crazy

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• They can do anything we can't stop them from doing.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Drug, Can Do

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• You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

  Joseph Heller

  Military, Taken, Tradition

  "Catch-22". Book by Joseph Heller, ch. 27, p. 309, 1961.

  10 Copy quote

• Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.

  Joseph Heller

  Men, Mad, Medal

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.25, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

• A man's head is his castle.

  Joseph Heller

  Men, Mind, Castles

  Joseph Heller (1974). “Something Happened”, p.399, Simon and Schuster

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• But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make him out to be.

  Joseph Heller

  Stupid, Believe, Mean

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.172, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.

  Joseph Heller

  Giving, Might, Give Me

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.164, Simon and Schuster

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• I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.

  Joseph Heller

  Imagination, Mercy, Process

  Joseph Heller, Adam J. Sorkin (1993). “Conversations with Joseph Heller”, p.107, Univ. Press of Mississippi

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• How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?

  Joseph Heller

  Running, Evil, People

  Catch-22 ch. 18 (1961)

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• He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

  Joseph Heller

  Retirement, Funny Life, Farewell

  Catch-22 ch. 3 (1961)

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• Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.

  Joseph Heller

  Good Family, Yossarian

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.22, Simon and Schuster

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• Sure, that's what I mean,' Doc Daneeka said. 'A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.' Yossarian knew what he meant. That's not what I meant,' Doc Daneeka said, as Yossarian began scratching his back.

  Joseph Heller

  Mean, Hands, Grease

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.41, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• ¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨

  Joseph Heller

  War, Winning, People

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.40, Simon and Schuster

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