Joseph Heller Quotes - Page 4

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• Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Colonels, Asks

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

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• Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence?" "Yes, sir, it has." "Then why do you do it?" "To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.

  Joseph Heller

  Trying, Pursuit, Subconscious

  Joseph Heller, Robert M. Scotto (1973). “Joseph Heller's Catch-22: A Critical Edition”

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• I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

  Joseph Heller

  Dream, Night, Long

  Joseph Heller (1975). “Something happened”

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• Clevinger was a troublemaker and a wise guy. Lieutenant Scheisskopf knew that Clevinger might cause even more trouble if he wasn't watched. Yesterday it was the cadet officers; tomorrow it might be the world. Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskopf had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times. Such men were dangerous, and even the new cadet officers whom Clevinger had helped into office were eager to give damning testimony against him. The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with.

  Joseph Heller

  Wise, Smart, Men

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.75, Simon and Schuster

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• They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly. No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried. Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked. They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone." And what difference does that make?

  Joseph Heller

  Differences, Trying, Doe

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.34, Simon and Schuster

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• Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.

  Joseph Heller

  Army, Men, Thinking

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.36, Simon and Schuster

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• He was never without misery, and never without hope.

  Joseph Heller

  Misery, Without Hope

  Joseph Heller (2016). “Closing Time”, p.278, Simon and Schuster

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• Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.

  Joseph Heller

  Wells, Died

  "Fictional character: Yossarian". Catch-22, www.imdb.com. 1970.

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• I can't start writing until I have a closing line.

  Joseph Heller

  Writing, Lines, Closing

  Joseph Heller, Adam J. Sorkin (1993). “Conversations with Joseph Heller”, p.108, Univ. Press of Mississippi

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• From now on I'm thinking only of me." Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: "But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way." "Then," said Yossarian, "I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?

  Joseph Heller

  Thinking, Way, Fool

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.409, Simon and Schuster

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• The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

  Joseph Heller

  Promise, Maniacs

  Joseph Heller (1997). “God Knows”, p.9, Simon and Schuster

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• Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.

  Joseph Heller

  Exercise, Opportunity, Air

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.465, Simon and Schuster

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• I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Business, Crazy

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• I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

  Joseph Heller

  Believe, Long, Miracle

  Joseph Heller, Adam J. Sorkin (1993). “Conversations with Joseph Heller”, p.288, Univ. Press of Mississippi

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• I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.

  Joseph Heller

  Writing, Flippant, Would Be

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• Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window, and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage. The spirit gone, man is garbage. That was Snowden's secret. Ripeness was all.

  Joseph Heller

  Fall, Men, Fire

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.404, Simon and Schuster

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• What do you do when it rains?" The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.

  Joseph Heller

  Rain, Captains, Wet

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.364, Simon and Schuster

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• Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.

  Joseph Heller

  Hands, One Day, Adjectives

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.18, Simon and Schuster

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• They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.

  Joseph Heller

  Catch 22 Important

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.159, Simon and Schuster

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• If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?

  Joseph Heller

  World, Rate, Thirds

  1979 Good as Gold, ch.6

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• He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

  Joseph Heller

  Sarcastic, Hygiene, Literature

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.73, Simon and Schuster

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• If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?

  Joseph Heller

  Feels, Ifs

  "God Knows". Book by Joseph Heller, 1984.

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• How did I get here? Somebody pushed me. Somebody must have set me off in this direction and clus-ters of other hands must have touched themselves to the controls at various times, for I would not have picked this way for the world.

  Joseph Heller

  Hands, World, Way

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• The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

  Joseph Heller

  Strong, Work, Humorous

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• Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.

  Joseph Heller

  Light, Middle Of Nowhere, Middle

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