Joseph Heller Quotes

Quotes about:

• It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.

  Joseph Heller

  Inspirational, Wisdom, Truth

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.336, Simon and Schuster

  94 Copy quote

• When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

  Joseph Heller

  Inspirational, Children, Growing Up

  Joseph Heller (1974). “Something Happened”, p.340, Simon and Schuster

  50 Copy quote

• The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?

  Joseph Heller

  Depression, Men, Insane

  5 Copy quote

• Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

  Joseph Heller

  Mean, Civilization, Earth

  Joseph Heller, Adam J. Sorkin (1993). “Conversations with Joseph Heller”, p.287, Univ. Press of Mississippi

  21 Copy quote

• You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.

  Joseph Heller

  Answers, Might, Failing

  "Catch-22". Book by Joseph Heller, 1961.

  18 Copy quote

• The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Exercise, Rights

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.373, Simon and Schuster

  32 Copy quote

• For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Enough, Expensive

  Joseph Heller (2016). “Closing Time”, p.226, Simon and Schuster

  1 Copy quote

• Every writer I know has trouble writing.

  Joseph Heller

  Writing, Young Writers, Trouble

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  30 Copy quote

• [They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Educate

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

  24 Copy quote

• History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Light, Electric Motors

  Joseph Heller (1997). “Good as Gold”, p.72, Simon and Schuster

  25 Copy quote

• In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

  Joseph Heller

  Running, Failure, Long

  Joseph Heller (1997). “Good as Gold”, p.71, Simon and Schuster

  16 Copy quote

• The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

  Joseph Heller

  Ignorance, Mean, Law

  2 Copy quote

• He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

  Joseph Heller

  Failure, Men, Self

  1961 Of Colonel Cargill. Catch-22, ch.3.

  19 Copy quote

• There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Might, Wanted

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

  10 Copy quote

• You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

  Joseph Heller

  Military, Taken, Tradition

  "Catch-22". Book by Joseph Heller, ch. 27, p. 309, 1961.

  6 Copy quote

• It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Winning, Differences

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.122, Simon and Schuster

  3 Copy quote

• There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

  Joseph Heller

  Crazy, Would Be, Want

  Catch-22 ch. 5 (1961).

  11 Copy quote

• The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

  Joseph Heller

  Death, Suicide, Wisdom

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.122, Simon and Schuster

  17 Copy quote

• Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts - and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?

  Joseph Heller

  Crazy, Book, Men

  "Heller's legacy will be 'Catch-22' ideas". archives.cnn.com. December 13, 1999.

  10 Copy quote

• Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.

  Joseph Heller

  Giving, Might, Give Me

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.164, Simon and Schuster

  0 Copy quote

• What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, War, Fighting

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.323, Simon and Schuster

  18 Copy quote

• You wouldn’t be normal if you were never afraid. Even the bravest men experience fear. One of the biggest jobs we all face in combat is to overcome fear.

  Joseph Heller

  Jobs, Men, Overcoming

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.103, Simon and Schuster

  0 Copy quote

• Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.

  Joseph Heller

  Funny, Success, Suicide

  1975 Interview in Playboy, Jun.

  10 Copy quote

• Rise above principal and do what's right.

  Joseph Heller

  Rise Above, Principal

  2 Copy quote

• They can do anything we can't stop them from doing.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Drug, Can Do

  11 Copy quote

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