Joseph Heller Quotes

Quotes about:

• It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.

  Joseph Heller

  Inspirational, Wisdom, Truth

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.336, Simon and Schuster

  98 Copy quote

• When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

  Joseph Heller

  Inspirational, Children, Growing Up

  Joseph Heller (1974). “Something Happened”, p.340, Simon and Schuster

  54 Copy quote

• The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?

  Joseph Heller

  Depression, Men, Insane

  10 Copy quote

• Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

  Joseph Heller

  Mean, Civilization, Earth

  Joseph Heller, Adam J. Sorkin (1993). “Conversations with Joseph Heller”, p.287, Univ. Press of Mississippi

  25 Copy quote

• You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.

  Joseph Heller

  Answers, Might, Failing

  "Catch-22". Book by Joseph Heller, 1961.

  24 Copy quote

• He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

  Joseph Heller

  Failure, Men, Self

  1961 Of Colonel Cargill. Catch-22, ch.3.

  24 Copy quote

• [They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Educate

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

  27 Copy quote

• The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

  Joseph Heller

  Death, Suicide, Wisdom

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.122, Simon and Schuster

  21 Copy quote

• The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Exercise, Rights

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.373, Simon and Schuster

  36 Copy quote

• In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

  Joseph Heller

  Running, Failure, Long

  Joseph Heller (1997). “Good as Gold”, p.71, Simon and Schuster

  20 Copy quote

• The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.

  Joseph Heller

  Past, Ease, Body

  9 Copy quote

• For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Enough, Expensive

  Joseph Heller (2016). “Closing Time”, p.226, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

• There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Might, Wanted

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

  13 Copy quote

• Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts - and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?

  Joseph Heller

  Crazy, Book, Men

  "Heller's legacy will be 'Catch-22' ideas". archives.cnn.com. December 13, 1999.

  13 Copy quote

• History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Light, Electric Motors

  Joseph Heller (1997). “Good as Gold”, p.72, Simon and Schuster

  28 Copy quote

• Rise above principal and do what's right.

  Joseph Heller

  Rise Above, Principal

  6 Copy quote

• You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate." "Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.

  Joseph Heller

  Hate, Hypocrite, People

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.395, Simon and Schuster

  8 Copy quote

• The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

  Joseph Heller

  Ignorance, Mean, Law

  6 Copy quote

• Insanity is contagious.

  Joseph Heller

  Insanity, Contagious

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.23, Simon and Schuster

  15 Copy quote

• Every writer I know has trouble writing.

  Joseph Heller

  Writing, Young Writers, Trouble

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  36 Copy quote

• From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.

  Joseph Heller

  Men, Moral, Motivated

  9 Copy quote

• Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.

  Joseph Heller

  Men, Mad, Medal

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.25, Simon and Schuster

  4 Copy quote

• Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

  Joseph Heller

  Success, Humorous, People

  9 Copy quote

• Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.

  Joseph Heller

  Funny, Success, Suicide

  1975 Interview in Playboy, Jun.

  14 Copy quote

• You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

  Joseph Heller

  Military, Taken, Tradition

  "Catch-22". Book by Joseph Heller, ch. 27, p. 309, 1961.

  9 Copy quote

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