Joseph Heller Quotes

Quotes about:

• It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.

  Joseph Heller

  Inspirational, Wisdom, Truth

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.336, Simon and Schuster

  100 Copy quote

• When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

  Joseph Heller

  Inspirational, Children, Growing Up

  Joseph Heller (1974). “Something Happened”, p.340, Simon and Schuster

  55 Copy quote

• The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?

  Joseph Heller

  Depression, Men, Insane

  14 Copy quote

• Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

  Joseph Heller

  Mean, Civilization, Earth

  Joseph Heller, Adam J. Sorkin (1993). “Conversations with Joseph Heller”, p.287, Univ. Press of Mississippi

  30 Copy quote

• You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.

  Joseph Heller

  Answers, Might, Failing

  "Catch-22". Book by Joseph Heller, 1961.

  26 Copy quote

• [They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Educate

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

  31 Copy quote

• There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

  Joseph Heller

  People, Might, Wanted

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.43, Simon and Schuster

  15 Copy quote

• For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.

  Joseph Heller

  War, Enough, Expensive

  Joseph Heller (2016). “Closing Time”, p.226, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

  Joseph Heller

  Failure, Men, Self

  1961 Of Colonel Cargill. Catch-22, ch.3.

  26 Copy quote

• The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

  Joseph Heller

  Death, Suicide, Wisdom

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.122, Simon and Schuster

  25 Copy quote

• The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Exercise, Rights

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.373, Simon and Schuster

  39 Copy quote

• In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

  Joseph Heller

  Running, Failure, Long

  Joseph Heller (1997). “Good as Gold”, p.71, Simon and Schuster

  22 Copy quote

• History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, Light, Electric Motors

  Joseph Heller (1997). “Good as Gold”, p.72, Simon and Schuster

  31 Copy quote

• Rise above principal and do what's right.

  Joseph Heller

  Rise Above, Principal

  8 Copy quote

• Insanity is contagious.

  Joseph Heller

  Insanity, Contagious

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.23, Simon and Schuster

  18 Copy quote

• Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts - and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?

  Joseph Heller

  Crazy, Book, Men

  "Heller's legacy will be 'Catch-22' ideas". archives.cnn.com. December 13, 1999.

  15 Copy quote

• The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it.

  Joseph Heller

  Loneliness, Suffering, Problem

  Joseph Heller (1997). “God Knows”, p.61, Simon and Schuster

  6 Copy quote

• The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.

  Joseph Heller

  Past, Ease, Body

  11 Copy quote

• There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

  Joseph Heller

  Crazy, Would Be, Want

  Catch-22 ch. 5 (1961).

  18 Copy quote

• mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

  Joseph Heller

  Atrocities, Tomorrow, Week

  1988 Picture This, ch.37.

  6 Copy quote

• Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

  Joseph Heller

  Success, Humorous, People

  14 Copy quote

• The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

  Joseph Heller

  Three, Texan, Be Good

  Joseph Heller (1999). “Catch-22: A Novel”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

  24 Copy quote

• The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

  Joseph Heller

  Ignorance, Mean, Law

  8 Copy quote

• Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.

  Joseph Heller

  Leadership, Fun, Remember

  5 Copy quote

• What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.

  Joseph Heller

  Country, War, Fighting

  Joseph Heller (2010). “Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition”, p.323, Simon and Schuster

  22 Copy quote

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