Artie Lange Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.

  Artie Lange

  Play, Cards, Fine

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

  Artie Lange

  Want

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• I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.

  Artie Lange

  College, Thinking, Voice

  Interview With Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. January 7, 2010.

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• I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

  Artie Lange

  Drinking, Yankees, Years

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• I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of what it was like to be a kid, where everything is carefree and fun.

  Artie Lange

  Fun, Father, Kids

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• Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

  Artie Lange

  Drinking, Guy, Drug

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• Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.

  Artie Lange

  Voting

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• I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

  Artie Lange

  Guy, Stability

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• Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

  Artie Lange

  Insulting, Sound, Want

  Interview with Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. January 7, 2010.

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• In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

  Artie Lange

  Birthday, Retirement, Party

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• You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

  Artie Lange

  Girl, Father, Two

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• I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking

  Artie Lange

  Lying, Drinking, Fellas

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• All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.

  Artie Lange

  Mountain, Valleys, Purpose

  Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza (2014). “Crash and Burn”, p.1, Simon and Schuster

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• My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.

  Artie Lange

  Dad, Mind, My Dad

  Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza (2008). “Too Fat to Fish”, p.42, Spiegel & Grau

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• Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

  Artie Lange

  People, Comedian, Happens

  "Artie Lange’s chilling words pre-suicide attempt: ‘I have so much to live for’". Interview With Mandy Stadtmiller, nypost.com. January 8, 2010.

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• When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

  Artie Lange

  Black, Time Of My Life

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• I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem.

  Artie Lange

  Gambling, Years, Dresses

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• I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

  Artie Lange

  Nocturnal, Comic

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• Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.

  Artie Lange

  Style, Influence, Nutty

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

  Artie Lange

  Night, Comedy, All Night

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• Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.

  Artie Lange

  Jason, Actors, Doing Nothing

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• Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

  Artie Lange

  Vegas, Kind, Fine

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• I like gambling on stuff that you don't know anything about. That's when it's exciting.

  Artie Lange

  Gambling, Stuff, Exciting

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• Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

  Artie Lange

  Dream, Successful, Comedy

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• Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

  Artie Lange

  Depressing, People, Website

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