I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.
Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.
Bette [Davis] and I are good friends. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face - both of them.
Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.
I'm as pure as the driven slush.
Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.
I've had a man and I've had a woman, and there's got to be something better.
The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.
I'm not childless, darling. I am childfree.
They aren't making mirrors like they use to.
In my lifetime I've been to bed with men, women, and odd pieces of furniture.
They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.
I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
Will TV kill the theater? If the programs I have seen, save for "Kukla, Fran and Ollie," the ball games and the fights, are any criterion, the theater need not wake up in a cold sweat.
Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.
I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
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