Bin Laden Quotes - Page 3

• U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges.

  Jay Leno

  Government, Screw Ups, Dimes

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• We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting to the root of his intense anger. And they say bin Laden never spends the night in the same place twice. No, wait a minute, that's Clinton.

  David Letterman

  Father, Night, Thinking

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• The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden.

  Chris Rock

  Should Have, Osama Bin Laden, Empty

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• [S]ince their candidate lost, many [Democrats] have allowed their hatred of George W. Bush to put them in the tragic position to be cheering for the same result in Iraq as Osama Bin Laden and al Zarqawi.

  Joe Scarborough

  Cheer, Iraq, Hatred

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• Bin Laden was once targeted by President Clinton. President Clinton wanted to kill him but couldn't get him. Of course not, we all know what kind of aim Clinton has.

  Jay Leno

  President, Kind, Clinton

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• Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan ... which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now Geraldo Rivera.

  Conan O'Brien

  Mean, Men, Pakistan

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• Saudi Arabia is the most fragile of all Arab states, though we're not saying so. And, unfortunately, bin Laden puts his finger on the other longstanding injustices in the Arab world: the continued occupation of Palestinian land by the Israelis; the enormous, constant Arab anger with the tens of thousands of Iraqi children who are dying under sanctions; the feelings of humiliation of millions of Arabs living under petty dictators, almost all of whom are propped up by the West.

  Robert Fisk

  Children, Land, Feelings

  Interview with Matthew Rothschild, progressive.org. December 1, 2001.

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• I will now make a scorpion appear in Osama bin Laden's pants

  David Copperfield

  Magic, Scorpions, Pants

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• Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Stars, Niece

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• Bin Laden was, though, a product of a monumental miscalculation by western security agencies. Throughout the 80s he was armed by the CIA and funded by the Saudis to wage jihad against the Russian occupation of Afghanistan. Al-Qaida, literally "the database", was originally the computer file of the thousands of mujahideen who were recruited and trained with help from the CIA to defeat the Russians.

  Robin Cook

  Agency, Occupation, Als

  "The struggle against terrorism cannot be won by military means" by Robin Cook, www.theguardian.com. July 8, 2005.

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• President Bush insisted that there was nothing in the August 6th, 2001 briefing, which was titled 'Bin Laden determined to attack the United States', that hinted what bin Laden was up to. Bush says that he would have moved mountains to stop the attack. Yeah, but he draws the line at reading a memo.

  David Letterman

  Reading, August, President

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• This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

  David Letterman

  Tourists, Borders, Looks

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• How many have seen that Osama bin Laden footage? Pretty scary. In fact, today, NBC ordered 13 more episodes.

  Jay Leno

  Nbc, Scary, Today

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• Osama bin Laden is going after us to get us out of the region, so he can deal with the regimes that he sees in the region, or replace them with purists.

  Brent Scowcroft

  Osama Bin Laden, Regimes, Deals

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• All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through.

  R. Kelly

  America, Stupid Celebrity, Osama Bin Laden

  Blender Magazine Interview, www.imdb.com. September 2003.

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• The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me.

  Jay Leno

  Thinking, Guy, Sound

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• I went to see that movie 'From Hell,' or as Osama bin Laden calls it - 'Roots.'

  Jay Leno

  Roots, Osama Bin Laden, Hell

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• Saddam Hussein is dead, and Osama bin Laden is dead. If you’re Moammar Gadhafi, living in exile is starting to sound really good.

  Jay Leno

  Sound, Hussein, Osama Bin Laden

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• For me, 9/11, it was my last year in college and I didn't know anything about Al Qaeda, I didn't know anything about bin Laden, I had no idea. I think probably after a few years when I started seeing how the country and the policy was shifting due to terrorism, I wanted to know: Why are these people terrorizing us, and who are they?

  Donte Stallworth

  Country, College, Thinking

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• The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.

  David Letterman

  Special, Osama Bin Laden, Disbanded

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• Even my landlord, who is a moderate Lebanese guy, says, "But bin Laden says what we think." These people believe that bin Laden is being targeted not because of the World Trade Center and Washington; they are not convinced by the evidence that has been produced. They believe he's being targeted because he tells the truth.

  Robert Fisk

  Believe, Thinking, People

  Interview with Matthew Rothschild, progressive.org. November 30, 2001.

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• Bin Laden was very keen to point out to me that his forces had fought the Americans in Somalia. He also wanted to talk about how many mullahs in Pakistan were putting up posters saying, "We follow bin Laden." He even produced a sort of Kodak set of snapshots of graffiti supporting him.

  Robert Fisk

  Graffiti, Pakistan, Snapshots

  Interview with Matthew Rothschild, progressive.org. November 30, 2001.

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• Why is it that we go to immense lengths getting the Serbs who were responsible for the massacre of 7,000 at Srbrenica - that's slightly more than the total figure for New York - and we take them to a tribunal in The Hague, and one after another, we arraign them, try them, convict them, and punish them in front of the world, but no plans have been brought forward to get bin Laden and his friends and put them on trial?

  Robert Fisk

  New York, Trying, Trials

  Interview with Matthew Rothschild, progressive.org. November 30, 2001.

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• The US military has achieved a decisive blow against al-Qaeda with its commando action against Osama Bin Laden and his killing.

  Angela Merkel

  Military, Blow, Als

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• So now the question is, basically, right now, how will the Osama Bin Laden tape affect the election? And I have a feeling that it could tilt the election a bit. In fact, I'm a little inclined to think that Karl Rove, the political manager at the White House, who is a very clever man, that he probably set up bin Laden to this thing.

  Walter Cronkite

  Clever, Men, Thinking

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