Certificates Quotes - Page 7

• I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Birth, Like Me

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.52, Michael O'Mara Books

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• I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Wife, Size

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• Bonds are guaranteed certificates of confiscation

  Franz Pick

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• What makes our marriage holy, what makes it "set apart" and sacramental, isn't the marriage certificate filed away in the basement or the degree to which we follow a list of rules and roles, it's the way God shows up in those everyday moments - loading the dishwasher, sharing a joke, hosting a meal, enduring an illness, working through a disagreement - and gives us the chance to notice, to pay attention to the divine. It's the way the God of resurrection makes all things new.

  Rachel Held Evans

  Giving, Everyday, Roles

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• I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Epidemics, Mcdonalds, Obesity Epidemic

  Jim Gaffigan (2014). “Food: A Love Story”, p.213, Crown Archetype

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