Certificates Quotes - Page 6

• I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Epidemics, Mcdonalds, Obesity Epidemic

  Jim Gaffigan (2014). “Food: A Love Story”, p.213, Crown Archetype

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• John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go.

  David Letterman

  Friday, Years, Chinese

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• You don't need to see my birth certificate, or my college records, or my legal writings, or... anything.

  Barack Obama

  Writing, College, Needs

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• I have never been able to understand why the tax comes as such a body blow to many people since the rate on long-term capital gain is lower than on most likes of endeavor (tax policy indicated digging ditches is regarded as socially less desirable than shuffling stock certificates).

  Warren Buffett

  Blow, Long, People

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• On Fox News, Donald Trump said Obama's birth certificate could indicate that he's a Muslim. Trump said he doesn't trust anyone with a foreign-sounding name, and neither does his daughter Ivanka.

  Conan O'Brien

  Daughter, Names, Doe

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• Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, President, Return

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• Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

  Jay Leno

  Running, President, Birth

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• Now I have something. In fact, I have posted on the Internet more than Obama has. My birth certificate actually has signatures.

  Orly Taitz

  Signatures, Facts, Birth

  "Is This Really Smoking Gun Of Obama's Kenyan Birth?". www.wnd.com. August 2, 2009.

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• President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.

  Craig Ferguson

  Fake, President, Campaigns

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• There are few things in life that are harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.

  Barack Obama

  Things In Life, Important, Birth

  Barack Obama's Speech at White House Correspondents' Dinner, www.c-span.org. May 1, 2010.

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• Check your spiritual birth certificate, you were made in the mighty image of God.

  Joel Osteen

  Spiritual, Birth, Checks

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• Are we Pakistanis, children of a lesser God? Is there one law for the west and one for us? Is our democracy supposed to be only democracy if you give us a no objection certificate?

  Imran Khan

  Children, Law, Giving

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• Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it.

  Jenny Offill

  Self, Years, Birth

  Jenny Offill (2014). “Dept. of Speculation”, p.79, Vintage

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• Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Real, Hair, President

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• ...One of the side effects of (surgery, anesthesia,) X-ray..., and chemotherapy, is the suppression...of the patient's immunological defenses...A simple cold often leads to the death from pneumonia - and ('pneumonia') is what appears on the death certificate, not cancer.

  G. Edward Griffin

  Cancer, Dark, Simple

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• The calf scramble will be during both rodeo performances and consist of children attempting to catch and halter several loose calves. If a child succeeds, he or she will receive a certificate to purchase a breeding animal to raise and bring back to the livestock show next year.

  Kim Carnes

  Children, Animal, Years

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• Women who earn a certificate or degree from a community college, especially in STEM-related field, will be ready to move into a good-paying job in the growing global economy. Community colleges also offer mentorship and support that goes far beyond the classroom.

  Jill Biden

  Jobs, Moving, College

  Source: on.mtv.com

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• The online credential, the online certificate is very different from an on campus certificate. And we really believe that online learning and the EdX platform and the EdX portal, these are ways in which - you can think of them as a rising tide that's going to lift all boats whether for students worldwide or on our campuses.

  John Agar

  Believe, Thinking, Online Learning

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• No birth certificate is issued when friendship is born. There is nothing tangible. There is just a feeling that your life is different and that your capacity to love and care has miraculously been enlarged without any effort on your part. It's like having a tiny apartment and somebody moves in with you. But instead of becoming cramped and crowded, the space expands, and you discover rooms you never knew you had until your friend moved in with you.

  Steve Tesich

  Friendship, Moving, Space

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• I went to regular schools and I was home schooled a lot but I don't have any history in schools. Like, I literally don't exist. I didn't even get a birth certificate until the mid-80s. I always feel like I could be, like, 10 years younger, or maybe I'm 70!

  Rose McGowan

  Home, School, Years

  "Rose is rising". Interview with Damon Wise, www.theguardian.com. November 10, 2007.

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• I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

  Victoria Wood

  Mean, Luck, Degrees

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• Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Memorable, Men

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• Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate to rest than The Donald. Now he can get to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?

  Barack Obama

  Taken, Moon, Issues

  "Barack Obama takes revenge on Donald Trump in White House speech". Barack Obama's speech at the White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, D.C., www.telegraph.co.uk. May 1, 2011.

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• I want to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump's Republican registration.

  Rand Paul

  Long, Want, Republican

  "Rand Paul Questions Trump’s Republican Credentials". thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com. April 28, 2011.

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• No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate, they know that this is the place that we were born and raised.

  Mitt Romney

  Stupid People, Election, Birth

  "NBC and CBS Pounce on Romney’s Birth Certificate ‘Swipe’ at Obama: ‘Was It a Joke?’". "NBC Nightly News" with David Gregory, www.mrc.org. August 24, 2012.

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