Crap Quotes - Page 9

• The argument [behind climate change] is absolute crap. However, the politics of this are tough for us. Eighty per cent of people believe climate change is a real and present danger.

  Tony Abbott

  Real, Believe, People

  "Town of Beaufort changed Tony Abbott's view on climate change" by Stuart Rintoul, www.theaustralian.com.au. December 12, 2009.

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• Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you.

  Louise Rennison

  Baby, Jesus, Sorry

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• Even as I'm shoveling up my hooter, I realize the sad truth. Coke bores me, It bores us all. We're jaded cunts, in a scene we hate, a city we hate, pretending that we're at the center of the universe, trashing ourselves with crap drugs to stave off the feeling that real life is happening somewhere else, aware that all we're doing is feeding that paranoia and disenchantment, yet somehow we're too apathetic to stop. Cause, sadly, there's nothing else of interest to stop for.

  Irvine Welsh

  Hate, Real, Somewhere Else

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• Love does not exist, it's like religion, the state wants you to believe in that kind of crap so they can control you, and f**k your head up.

  Irvine Welsh

  Believe, Doe, Want

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• Donald Westlake's Parker novels are among the small number of books I read over and over. Forget all that crap you've been telling yourself about War and Peace and Proust-these are the books you'll want on that desert island.

  Lawrence Block

  War, Book, Islands

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• I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

  Laurie Notaro

  Dog, Nice, Men

  Laurie Notaro (2002). “The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life”, p.78, Villard

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• A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.

  Scott Lynch

  Girl, Sunshine, Boys

  Scott Lynch (2015). “The Gentleman Bastard Series 3-Book Bundle: The Lies of Locke Lamora, Red Seas Under Red Skies, The Republic of Thieves”, p.1817, Del Rey

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• It is very important to embrace failure and to do a lot of stuff — as much stuff as possible — with as little fear as possible. It’s much, much better to wind up with a lot of crap having tried it than to overthink in the beginning and not do it.

  Stefan Sagmeister

  Wind, Important, Littles

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• Anyone who conceives of writing as an agreeable stroll towards a middle-class life-style will never write anything but crap.

  Derek Raymond

  Writing, Class, Style

  Derek Raymond (2011). “He Died with His Eyes Open: Factory 1”, p.154, Profile Books

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• Rap music is just computerised crap. I listen to Top of the Pops and after three songs I feel like killing someone.

  George Harrison

  Song, Rap, Killing Someone

  "The Beatles - After the Break-up : In Their Own Words". Book by David Bennahum (p. 54), 1991.

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• Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap.

  Ira Glass

  Funny, Humorous, Enough

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• Many young web designers view their craft the way I used to view pop culture. It's cool or it's crap. They mistake Style for Design, when the two things are not the same at all. Design communicates on every level. It tells you where you are, cues you to what you can do, and facilitates the doing. Style is tautological; it communicates stylishness. In visual terms, style is an aspect of design; in commercial terms, style can communicate brand attributes.

  Jeffrey Zeldman

  Mistake, Views, Two

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• Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first

  S.A. Bodeen

  Hands, Wish, Firsts

  S. A. Bodeen (2008). “The Compound”, p.15, Feiwel & Friends

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• What is a turducken? An exclusive culinary creation available by special order from some little Cajun town down south. Entirely deboned, a turducken consists of a turkey, stuffed with duck, stuffed with a chicken, like an edible Russian nesting doll. Some were stuffed with alligator, crap, shrimp; my favorite was the traditional cornbread variety.

  S.A. Bodeen

  Order, Turkeys, Ducks

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• I have a deep-seated distrust and even contempt for people who are driven by ambition to conquer the world … those who cannot control themselves and produce vast amounts of crap that no one cares about. I find it unattractive. I like the Zen artists: they’d do some work, and then they’d stop for a while.

  Saul Leiter

  Ambition, Artist, Conquer The World

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• First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.

  Zach Braff

  Sex, College, Men

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• Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she's saying. Come on, she's a woman. But still, it's very cute.

  Zach Braff

  Cute, Iraq, Giving

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• Science fiction fans are awesome, they love you so much that they'll watch anything you do, even if it's complete crap. I never dreamed that I would go to conventions and sit down and have coffee with a Klingon. It's so weird, but it's my life.

  Katee Sackhoff

  Coffee, Love You, Fans

  "Starbuck Speaks". Eric Gillin, www.esquire.com. June 28, 2007.

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• I don't think there is a 'gay lifestyle.' I think that's superficial crap, all that talk about gay culture. A couple of restaurants on Castro Street and a couple of magazines do not constitute culture. Michelangelo is culture. Virginia Woolf is culture. So let's don't confuse our terms. Wearing earrings is not culture.

  Rita Mae Brown

  Couple, Gay, Thinking

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• If you want to make real money, do something that scares the crap out of 99% of the population, and only one person in a couple of hundred is physically capable of.

  Charlie Kelly

  Couple, Real, Scare

  Source: ride.io

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• If it's a band I like, I just hope they will survive it all. And I'll admit that if it's crap music, I hope they won't and it'll go away. Simply because there are too many great bands who should be heard in their place.

  Eddie Vedder

  Going Away, Band, Should

  Interview with Carrie Brownstein, www.believermag.com. June 2004.

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• If someone is being unkind or petty or jealous or distant or weird, you don't have to take it in. You don't have to turn it into a big psychodrama about your worth. That behavior so often is not even about you. Don't own other people's crap.

  Cheryl Strayed

  Jealousy, Often Is, People

  Cheryl Strayed (2015). “Brave Enough: A Mini Instruction Manual for the Soul”, p.82, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• It's time to start recognizing that not all escapist entertainment is created equal. And that some of it isn't even entertainment. "Miss March" is, to use the vernacular of the escapist moviegoer, the biggest pile of crap I've seen in ages.

  Stephanie Zacharek

  Missing, Age, Use

  "Miss March" by Stephanie Zacharek, www.salon.com. March 13, 2009.

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• I hate it. I hate taxidermy shops and all that crap.

  Michael Jackson

  Hate, Taxidermy, Shops

  Interview with Bob Colacello, Andy Warhol, www.interviewmagazine.com. August 31, 2011.

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• Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

  Norm MacDonald

  Jesus, Years, Albums

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