Funny Commencement Quotes - Page 2

• Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.

  Stephen Colbert

  Inspirational, Graduation, Education

  "Top 10 Commencement Speeches: Best of All Time" by Meena Jang, www.hollywoodreporter.com. March 8, 2015.

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• Openness isn't the end. It's the beginning.

  Margaret Heffernan

  Graduation, Senior, College

  "Dare to disagree". TED Talk, www.ted.com. June 2012.

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• It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.

  Woody Allen

  Life, Graduation, Home

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

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• What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.

  Eleanor Powell

  Inspirational, Life, Graduation

  93 Copy quote

• Think of it as your ticket to change the world.

  Tom Brokaw

  Graduation, Thinking, Tickets

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• There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

  Beverly Sills

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  "Conquering an Enemy Called Average". Book by John Mason, 1996.

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• 

  Go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.

  Neil Gaiman

  Inspirational, Graduation, Mistake

  Neil Gaiman's Commencement Address at The University of the Arts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, www.uarts.edu. May 17, 2012.

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• It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

  Bill Cosby

  Graduation, Mean, Warning

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• A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

  Theodore Roosevelt

  Graduation, Senior, Education

  "Art of Communicating Ideas". Book by William Joseph Grace, p. 389, 1952.

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• It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

  Roger Babson

  Inspirational, Motivational, Success

  51 Copy quote

• If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

  Milton Berle

  Inspirational, Motivational, Change

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Graduation, Senior

  "A Few Tips for the Graduates". The Topeka Capital-Journal, abcnews.go.com. May 20, 2007.

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  Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

  Bernard Baruch

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  235 Copy quote

• The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.

  Ralph Washington Sockman

  Inspirational, Happiness, Graduation

  66 Copy quote

• The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.

  Nelson Henderson

  Inspirational, Life, Graduation

  "Under Whose Shade". Book by Wesley Henderson, 1982.

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• Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

  Confucius

  Love, Inspirational, Life

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• Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.

  Abbott Lawrence Lowell

  Funny, Cute, Graduation

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• Now I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take for instance what has worked for me. Wigs. Tight clothes. Push up bras.

  Dolly Parton

  Clothes, Funny Graduation, Giving

  "Puff Daddy Delivers Howard University Commencement Speech, But How Does It Rank?" by Emma Goddard, www.bustle.com. May 11, 2014.

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• The truth is, I was afraid the day I walked into Stanford. And I was afraid the day I walked out.

  Carly Fiorina

  Graduation, Memorable, Truth Is

  "Words of Wisdom / This year's commencement speakers offer career advice for tough days ahead" by Vanessa Hua, www.sfgate.com. June 23, 2001.

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• Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goals.

  Brian Tracy

  Inspirational, Motivational, Eye

  Brian Tracy, Azim Jamal (2016). “What You Seek Is Seeking You”, p.139, Jaico Publishing House

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• I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don't want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love

  Jim Carrey

  Father, Doing What You Love, Lessons

  "Jim Carrey's inspiring commencement speech" by Lisa Respers France, www.cnn.com. May 28, 2014.

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• Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.

  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  Inspirational, Positive, Graduation

  H. Jackson Brown Jr., Rochelle Pennington (2001). “Highlighted in Yellow: A Short Course In Living Wisely And Choosing Well”, p.79, Harper Collins

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• You cannot help but learn more as take the world into your hands. Take it up reverently, for it is and old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it.

  John Updike

  Inspirational, Graduation, Hands

  65 Copy quote

• A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.

  Henry Ford

  Inspirational, Success, Graduation

  "Mansfield News Journal" Newspaper, August 3, 1965.

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• To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

  A. A. Milne

  Graduation, Education, Memorable

  15 Copy quote