Funny Fathers Day Quotes

• A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.

  Billy Graham

  Inspirational, Fathers Day, Father Son

  Twitter post from Jun 16, 2013

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• A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

  Steve Martin

  Fathers Day, Baby, Dad

  37 Copy quote

• I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Happy, Fathers Day, Dad

  "R.I.P. Rodney Dangerfield", www.indiewire.com. October 6, 2004.

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• My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Dad, Father

  47 Copy quote

• There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Fathers Day, Song, Children

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from May 09, 2012

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  The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

  Theodore Hesburgh

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  219 Copy quote

• Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

  Bill Cosby

  Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

  88 Copy quote
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  My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

  Jim Valvano

  Inspirational, Basketball, Daughter

  149 Copy quote

• I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.

  Sigmund Freud

  Daughter, Fathers Day, Strong

  Sigmund Freud, James Strachey, Anna Freud, Carrie Lee Rothgeb (1961). “The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud”

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• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

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• When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

  Jerry Lewis

  Fathers Day, Zoos, Dad

  161 Copy quote

• Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Fathers Day, Children

  65 Copy quote
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  My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass'; 'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising boys.'

  Harmon Killebrew

  Family, Fathers Day, Mother

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

  William Shakespeare

  Fathers Day, Dad, Son

  29 Copy quote

• My father was a statesman, I'm a political woman. My father was a saint. I'm not.

  Indira Gandhi

  Father, Political, Saint

  "Indira's Coup". The New York Review of Books, September 18, 1975.

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• If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons.

  James A. Baldwin

  Fathers Day, Son, Earth

  81 Copy quote

• There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.

  John Gregory Brown

  Running, Mother Daughter, Fathers Day

  John Gregory Brown (2001). “Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery”, p.68, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Family, Dad

  Bertrand Russell (1957). “Why I Am Not a Christian: And Other Essays on Religion and Related Subjects”, p.158, Simon and Schuster

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• As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.

  Lord Chesterfield

  Inspirational, Funny, Fathers Day

  Lord Chesterfield, David Roberts (2008). “Lord Chesterfield's Letters”, p.239, Oxford University Press

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• Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

  Confucius

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  144 Copy quote

• Choose a career you love and you will never have to go to work.

  Denis Waitley

  Fathers Day, Work, Careers

  35 Copy quote

• "Reverence for parents" stands written among the three laws of most revered righteousness.

  Aeschylus

  Fathers Day, Mother, Law

  "The Suppliants". Play by Aeschylus,

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• He's [Harry S. Truman] just your dad, and you love him. It's only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home - it's only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love. My father was a great man.

  Margaret Truman Daniel

  Daughter, Fathers Day, Growing Up

  "On Centennial, Truman Recalled In Washington" by Martin Tolchin, www.nytimes.com. May 9, 1984.

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• My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Fathers Day, Humor

  FaceBook post by Jeff Foxworthy from Jun 25, 2012

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• Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Dad, Father, Years

  6 Copy quote