Good News And Bad News Quotes

• The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do.

  Ted Nelson

  News, Computer, Classroom

  65 Copy quote

• The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

  Bob Hope

  Jesus, Pissed Off, News

  71 Copy quote

• The news media are, for the most part, the bringers of bad news... and it's not entirely the media's fault, bad news gets higher ratings and sells more papers than good news.

  Peter McWilliams

  Media, Paper, Faults

  60 Copy quote

• Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

  Tracy Morgan

  Light, News, Speed

  17 Copy quote

• In the business world, bad news is usually good news - for somebody else.

  James Surowiecki

  News, World, Good News

  "Don't Do the Math". www.newyorker.com. January 24, 2005.

  19 Copy quote

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• The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Political, Politics, Pay

  19 Copy quote

• I guess no matter how hard you try, you can't escape your past.

  Joel Osteen

  Past, Trying, Matter

  18 Copy quote

• The bad news is that 50 people died in a hotel fire; the good news is that we got exclusive footage.

  Jessica Savitch

  Fire, People, News

  17 Copy quote

• Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Sarcastic, Iraq

  18 Copy quote

• Tell your husbands any bad news when everything is calm, not just as they come through the door.

  Indra Devi

  Husband, Doors, News

  23 Copy quote

• What can I do to see Reality as it is?" The master smiled and said, "I have good news and bad news for you, my friend." "What's the bad news?" "There's nothing you can do to see it is a gift." "And what's the good news?" "There's nothing you can do to see it is a gift.

  Anthony de Mello

  Reality, News, Masters

  17 Copy quote

• This is what I say: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, you don't have to worry, you can't change the past. The bad news is, you don't have to worry, no matter how hard you try, you can't change the past. The universe just doesn't put up with that. We aren't important enough. No one is. Even in our own lives. We're not strong enough, willful enough, skilled enough in chronodiegetic manipulation to be able to just accidentally change the entire course of anything, even ourselves.

  Charles Yu

  Strong, Past, Worry

  Charles Yu (2010). “How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe: A Novel”, p.14, Vintage

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• Quentin Tarantino assistant called me and said: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you got the part, the bad news is you have to do it." I was like: "Oh Jesus, when am I supposed to do this?" I was prepping Hostel.

  Eli Roth

  Jesus, News, Assistants

  Source: www.indielondon.co.uk

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• There's good news and bad news about 2 Fast 2 Furious, the moronic follow-up to The Fast and the Furious and a contender for the worst movie of 2003. The good news is that it's better, albeit marginally, than Freddy Got Fingered. The bad news is that it's 15 minutes longer.

  James Berardinelli

  News, Minutes, Worst

  "2 Fast 2 Furious (United States, 2003)". A movie review, www.reelviews.net. 2003.

  4 Copy quote

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• Got good news and bad news for you, Mr. President. The good news is that Chief Justice John Roberts just saved your legacy and, perhaps, your presidency by writing for the Supreme Court majority to rule health care reform constitutional.

  Ron Fournier

  Writing, Justice, President

  4 Copy quote