Letters Quotes - Page 17

• I saw a lady on TV, she was born without arms. That's sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't'." That, to me, is even worse in a way. Not only is she missing arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's easy, Lola - you just take two words, put them together, take out the middle letters, put in a comma, and you raise it up!

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Simple

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• You know when a company wants to use letters in their phone number, but often they'll use too many letters? "Call 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Brand-New-Carpeting." Too many letters, man, must I dial them all? "Hello? Hold on, man, I'm only on 'Enjoy.' How did you know I was calling? You're good, I can see why they hired you!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Men

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• You're not allowed to park a truck in your driveway. You're not allowed to work on your house on Sunday. The people who enforce these laws are nuts. After I wrote a column on this, I got I don't know how many letters from Coral Gables homeowners, story after story after story, wonderfully horrible stories. And the venom they felt for their own government!

  Dave Barry

  Sunday, Government, Law

  "All I Think Is That It's Stupid". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December 1, 1994.

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• Culture is already there and the church will continue to be even more irrelevant when it quotes letters from two thousand years ago as their best defense. When you have in front of you flesh and blood people who are your brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, co-workers and neighbors and they love each other and they just want to go through life with someone.

  Rob Bell

  Brother, Uncles, Aunt

  Source: capro.info

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• I would start by writing to an adult, maybe a high school teacher, or maybe an aunt or uncle, and writing and telling them why you want to go to a particular university. That's probably what you would actually sound like. Then write your letter to the university, and put those 2 versions in front of you, and look at the difference between those 2 things.

  David Sedaris

  Teacher, Uncles, Writing

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. October 8, 2014.

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• When you're in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that's the way my wife actually curses. She doesn't use dirty words; she'll literally say "asterisk, pound sign, exclamation point, the-letter-'A'-with-a-circle-around-it, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.")

  Paul Reiser

  Funny, Dirty, Exclamation Points

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• Very often, people who actually pick up a book of mine for the first time are kind of surprised. And I get these letters saying, well, who knew that you were good, you know?

  Salman Rushdie

  Book, People, Firsts

  Source: www.pbs.org

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• I get a lot of letters - a lot of letters saying, who knew that you were funny?

  Salman Rushdie

  Source: www.pbs.org

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• If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Humor, Ifs

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• You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, House

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• I get some female attention from fans, but mostly it's people asking for advice about a situation with their ex or their boyfriend, so it's not all love letters and fan mail!

  Matthew Hussey

  People, Advice, Fans

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

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• One might plausibly contend that Congress violates the spirit, if not the letter, of the constitutional doctrine of separation of powers when it exonerates itself from the impositions of the laws it obligates people outside the legislature to obey.

  Ruth Bader Ginsburg

  Law, People, Political

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• I think it's great some hotels provide stationery. Because the first thing I like to do when I get to a hotel room is write a letter. "My dearest Gwendolyn, I arrived by nightfall at the Embassy Suites. It will be a fortnight after my return that this letter shall arrive. Allow me to explain the curious charge at the ledger. It is because I miss thee so much, darling, I accidentally ordered Sorrority Sisters 7."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Writing, Thinking

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• I love the silent era because you can see the rules being written, the grammar of film being created. Most of my films are in some way love letters to the silent era.

  Dave McKean

  Way, Eras, Film

  Source: theculturalgutter.com

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• There's the underlying feeling that writing must be easy, because it's all about putting letters together. That's only true in the same way that programming is all about putting numbers together.

  Rhianna Pratchett

  Writing, Numbers, Feelings

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• Pico Iyer describes his writing as "intimate letters to a stranger," and I think that is what the writing process is. It begins with a question, and then you follow this path of exploration.

  Terry Tempest Williams

  Writing, Thinking, Path

  Terry Tempest Williams (2006). “A voice in the wilderness: conversations with Terry Tempest Williams”, Utah State Univ Pr

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• Some have paid me an undeserved compliment by supposing that my Letters were the ripe fruit of many years' study in moral and ascetic theology. They forgot that there is an equally reliable, though less creditable, way of learning how temptation works.

  C. S. Lewis

  Years, Supposing That, Temptation

  C. S. Lewis (2013). “The Screwtape Letters: Annotated Edition”, p.9, Harper Collins

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• Jan Bhagidari is the biggest asset of a democracy. We are increasing it through MyGov, letters from citizens, Mann Ki Baat and other initiatives.

  Narendra Modi

  Democracy, India, Citizens

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• I had many wonderful experiences, received beautiful letters, and my Christian books received substantive and thoughtful reviews. But there was always argument, dispute, questions as to what I "really" believed, lectures from here and there on "the real truth," etc.

  Anne Rice

  Beautiful, Christian, Real

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• I like the simple 'I love your work' letters. You never get sick of people's appreciation. They think they're troubling you, but it's lovely people associate my songs with certain moments in their lives.

  Michael Bolton

  Song, Appreciation, Love You

  "Michael Bolton: I never realised my hair was such a big deal". Interview with Rhiannon Vivian, www.mirror.co.uk. October 12, 2008.

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• All fanmail is a bit of fun. We do get some nice letters and some fanatical mail too. There's one woman who thinks me and her are married and has asked when she can come home. That's a bit spooky.

  Peter Andre

  Fun, Nice, Home

  Source: www.mirror.co.uk

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• I get up to 400 letters a week, so I have a full-time PA, but I try to answer everything. People don't seem to realise that if they send something living in the post it's going to die on the way. Especially when you wrap it in a polythene bag.

  Alan Titchmarsh

  People, Trying, Way

  Source: www.mirror.co.uk

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• Each decision - to kill, to sign a petition, to write a letter, to make a speech, to attack, to lie, to surrender - was made at some point in somebody's day.

  Nicholson Baker

  Lying, Writing, Decision

  "Nicholson Baker: Human Smoke". Interview with James Mustich, www.barnesandnoble.com. April 7, 2008.

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• A graceful and pleasing figure is a perpetual letter of recommendation.

  Francis Bacon

  Grace, Figures, Recommendations

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• Those who marry God can become domesticated too - it's just as hum-drum a marriage as all the others. The word Love means a formal touch of the lips as in the ceremony of the Mass, and Ave Maria like dearest is a phrase to open a letter. This marriage like the world's marriages was held together by habits and tastes shared in common between God and themselves - it was God's taste to be worshipped and their taste to worship, but only at stated hours like a suburban embrace on a Saturday night.

  Graham Greene

  Love, Mean, Night

  Graham Greene (2010). “A Burnt Out Case”, p.6, Random House

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