My Wife Quotes - Page 33

• It's time for me to do things I like so I will be happy, my wife will be happy, my friends will be happy. I just want to do something I'm proud of. It's time for me to change. I could sign with a company for 10 movies and I'm the king of video and so what?

  Jean-Claude Van Damme

  Kings, Wife, Video

  "Jean-claude Van Damme Re-evaluates Career: 'i Will Never Do Another Movie I Would Not Like'". Interview with Josh Horowitz, www.mtv.com. March 03, 2008.

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• My feeling is, personally, I want to die first... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.

  Bill Cosby

  Believe, Wife, Feelings

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• All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Wife, Cards

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• I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Doors, Wife

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• My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

  Milton Berle

  Real, Valentine, Thinking

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• My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Heart, Wife

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• I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Home, Hair

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• I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Wife, Size

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• I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Wife, Twenties

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• I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Mistake, Giving

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• My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Brother, Years

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• My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Men, Giving

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• My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Divorce, Want Something

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• One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Song, Wife

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• I unfortunately don't speak French, but my wife is now fluent in English, which really reflects rather badly on me.

  Sean Connery

  Speaks French, Wife, Fluent

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• I employed my wife for three years to sit in the attic and type up my autobiography, 700 pages, organise everywhere I go. I'm paying the normal rate of tax on the money I take out for myself.

  Ken Livingstone

  Years, Wife, Three

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• My wife and I both love cooking - I am an advanced male - so we argue about who gets to rustle up dinner.

  Stephen Bayley

  Wife, Cooking, Males

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• Thinking fascinates me, and I probably spend too much time in my mind. My wife says that my perfect world is to be in the Suburban driving, with her next to me and the boys in the back seat and complete silence for two thousand miles.

  John Larroquette

  Thinking, Boys, Two

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• A little weeping, a little wheedling, a little self-degradation, a little careful use of our advantages, and then some man will say .Come, be my wife! With good looks and youth marriage is easy to attain. There are men enough; but a woman who has sold herself, even for a ring and a new name, need hold her skirt aside for no creature in the street. They both earn their bread in one way. Marriage for love is the most beautiful external symbol of the union of souls; marriage without it is the least clean traffic that defiles the world.

  Olive Schreiner

  Marriage, Beautiful, Love Is

  The Story of an African Farm pt. 2, ch. 4 (1883)

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• And to play as long as I did and to have a family you have to be very blessed and I was with my wife Ruth. Ruth, I appreciate the job you did, and my three fine children, Reid, Reese, and Wendy.

  Nolan Ryan

  Jobs, Children, Blessed

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• My wife's income allowed me to do what I really loved. I realized that women's liberation is men's liberation, too.

  Warren Farrell

  Men, Wife, Income

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• I try not to get too rattled about things that aren't that important - there's a different outburst for when the kids are reaching for a knife in the kitchen versus the reaction I have when they just won't stop talking. And my wife and I have mellowed out as we've gone along.

  Chris O'Donnell

  Kids, Talking, Knives

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• I was burned out, and my wife and I were having our first kid, so I wanted to take some time off. In this business, if you take too long, the landscape changes. So the opportunities that were there when I decided to take a break weren't there when I came back.

  Chris O'Donnell

  Kids, Opportunity, Long

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• I'm definitely the most tech-savvy in my family. My wife wouldn't have a clue, as far as getting the computer working. All of my kids, it's amazing. Like everybody's kids, they're more savvy than I am, probably.

  Chris O'Donnell

  Kids, Wife, Computer

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• I'm from a big family - I'm the youngest of seven - and my wife is one of four. So we always wanted a lot of kids. It's what we're used to, and for us it's what life is all about.

  Chris O'Donnell

  Kids, Wife, Big Families

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