Quip Quotes

• I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Issues, Political

  Ronald Reagan (2004). “The uncommon wisdom of Ronald Reagan: a portrait in his own words”

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• If I have seen further than others, it is because I am surrounded by dwarfs.

  Murray Gell-Mann

  Dwarfs, Ifs

  "Wilson vs Watson: The Blessing of Great Enemies". www.newscientist.com. September 10, 2009.

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• I intend to live forever, or die trying.

  Groucho Marx

  Death, Funny Life, Forever

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• You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth.

  Ronald Reagan

  Children, Destiny, Men

  A Time for Choosing (aka "The Speech"), Air date 27 October 1964, Los Angeles, CA

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• I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.

  Ronald Reagan

  America, Dawn, Alzheimer

  Letter to the American people, 5 Nov. 1994

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• Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

  Ronald Reagan

  Wall, Memorable, Europe

  Remarks at Brandenburg Gate, West Berlin, Germany, 12 June 1987

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• Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

  Mark Twain

  Learning, Science, Supposing That

  Mark Twain (2015). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.99, Univ of California Press

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• I don't quite hear what you say, but I beg to differ entirely with you.

  Augustus De Morgan

  Science

  Sophia Elizabeth De Morgan, Augustus De Morgan (2010). “Memoir of Augustus De Morgan: With Selections from His Letters”, p.137, Cambridge University Press

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• If Big Brother (of Orwell's 1984) comes to America, he will not be a fearsome, foreboding figure with a heart-chilling, omnipresent glare as in 1984. He will come with a smile on his face, a quip on his lips, a wave to the crowd, and a press that (a) dutifully reports the suppressive measures he is taking to save the nation from internal chaos and foreign threat; and (b) gingerly questions whether he will be able to succeed.

  Michael Parenti

  Brother, Heart, America

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• When someone abuses me I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenceless.

  Sigmund Freud

  Science, Abuse, Praise

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• She [Gypsy Rose Lee] was a sophisticated self-satirist with a contagious delight in the comedy of sex. She was coy; she was sly; she always had a witty quip; she had an intensely dramatic presence.

  Karen Abbott

  Witty, Sex, Self

  Source: tech.blorge.com

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• Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

  Will Rogers

  Inspiration, Science, Technology

  Will Rogers (1979). “Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams: The Hoover years, 1931-1933”, Will Rogers Heritage Trust

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• COLD. Healthier than heat.

  Gustave Flaubert

  Science, Heat, Cold

  Gustave Flaubert (1968). “Dictionary of Accepted Ideas”, p.25, New Directions Publishing

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• Time goes too quickly. This is the advice that my mother should have given me from her hospital bed. Instead of vague, unknowable quips like "Be careful what you wish for," she should have told me time slides away on a hillside of loose shale and takes everything in its path - dreams, opportunities, hopes. And youth. It takes that fastest of all.

  Kristin Hannah

  Mother, Dream, Opportunity

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• The brain is an island in an osmotically homogeneous sea.

  Francis Daniels Moore

  Science, Islands, Sea

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• A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow. When innovations are in the exploration stage, they need a champion to take them through the rest of the developmental stages. Otherwise the bureaucracy, politics, and people who can only see the fledgling and potential innovation through today's glasses will smother it or let it quietly die from malnourishment.

  Charles Bowers

  Change, Glasses, Ideas

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• Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male.

  Ashton Kutcher

  Ice, Romance, Age

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• Radical transparency has an enormous impact on our personal lives. We can no longer share thoughts, quips, photos or personal opinions anywhere on the web without being mindful that they may turn up where we least expect it (notably job interviews, divorce proceedings or public media).

  Simon Mainwaring

  Jobs, Divorce, Media

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• Because I am about to be devoured by poodles," I quip. "Remember me always, my love.

  Holly Black

  Poodles, Remember, Remember Me

  Holly Black (2012). “Red Glove”, p.281, Simon and Schuster

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• Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

  Evan Esar

  Science, Math, Statistics

  Esar's Comic Dictionary

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• Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground-floor. But if a man hasn't got plenty of good common sense, the more science he has, the worse for his patient.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Science, Men, Common Sense

  Oliver Wendell Holmes (1887). “The "Breakfast-table" Series: The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table; The Professor at the Breakfast- Table; The Poet at the Breakfast- Table”

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• Ser Jaime?" Even in soiled pink satin and torn lace, Brienne looked more like a man in a gown than a proper woman."I am grateful, but...you were well away. Why come back?" A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. "I dreamed of you," he said.

  George R. R. Martin

  Grateful, Men, Mind

  George R. R. Martin (2003). “A Storm of Swords: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book Three”, p.631, Bantam

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• For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

  Michael Showalter

  Mean, Brooklyn Bridge, Bridges

  Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black Have Issues with Twitter" by Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black, www.esquire.com. July 29, 2009.

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• In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about the barricades of our revolutions. So, at the assizes of the Last Judgment, there will always be a Frenchmen to crack a joke.

  Honore de Balzac

  People, Cracks, Matter

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• Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee Jest, and youthful Jollity, Quips, and Cranks, and wanton Wiles, Nods, and Becks, and wreathed Smiles, Such as hang on Hebe's cheek, And love to live in dimple sleek; Sport that wrinkled Care derides, And Laughter holding both his sides.

  John Milton

  Sports, Laughter, Nymphs

  John Milton, John Hunter (1864). “Milton's Comus, L'allegro, and Il Penseroso: With Numerous Illustrative Notes &c”, p.59

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