Quip Quotes

• I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Issues, Political

  Ronald Reagan (2004). “The uncommon wisdom of Ronald Reagan: a portrait in his own words”

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• If I have seen further than others, it is because I am surrounded by dwarfs.

  Murray Gell-Mann

  Dwarfs, Ifs

  "Wilson vs Watson: The Blessing of Great Enemies". www.newscientist.com. September 10, 2009.

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• I intend to live forever, or die trying.

  Groucho Marx

  Death, Funny Life, Forever

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• I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.

  Ronald Reagan

  America, Dawn, Alzheimer

  Letter to the American people, 5 Nov. 1994

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• You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth.

  Ronald Reagan

  Children, Destiny, Men

  A Time for Choosing (aka "The Speech"), Air date 27 October 1964, Los Angeles, CA

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• Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

  Ronald Reagan

  Wall, Memorable, Europe

  Remarks at Brandenburg Gate, West Berlin, Germany, 12 June 1987

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• If Big Brother (of Orwell's 1984) comes to America, he will not be a fearsome, foreboding figure with a heart-chilling, omnipresent glare as in 1984. He will come with a smile on his face, a quip on his lips, a wave to the crowd, and a press that (a) dutifully reports the suppressive measures he is taking to save the nation from internal chaos and foreign threat; and (b) gingerly questions whether he will be able to succeed.

  Michael Parenti

  Brother, Heart, America

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• Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

  Mark Twain

  Learning, Science, Supposing That

  Mark Twain (2015). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.99, Univ of California Press

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• I don't quite hear what you say, but I beg to differ entirely with you.

  Augustus De Morgan

  Science

  Sophia Elizabeth De Morgan, Augustus De Morgan (2010). “Memoir of Augustus De Morgan: With Selections from His Letters”, p.137, Cambridge University Press

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• When someone abuses me I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenceless.

  Sigmund Freud

  Science, Abuse, Praise

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• She [Gypsy Rose Lee] was a sophisticated self-satirist with a contagious delight in the comedy of sex. She was coy; she was sly; she always had a witty quip; she had an intensely dramatic presence.

  Karen Abbott

  Witty, Sex, Self

  Source: tech.blorge.com

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• As a matter of fact, I am an uncle. I have nine nephews and nieces. I'm not sure if they think I'm all that quick with a quip. But I'm quick with a spank.

  Dean Norris

  Uncles, Niece, Thinking

  "Q&A – Dean Norris (Hank Schrader)". AMC Interview, www.amc.com. September 2011.

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• Time goes too quickly. This is the advice that my mother should have given me from her hospital bed. Instead of vague, unknowable quips like "Be careful what you wish for," she should have told me time slides away on a hillside of loose shale and takes everything in its path - dreams, opportunities, hopes. And youth. It takes that fastest of all.

  Kristin Hannah

  Mother, Dream, Opportunity

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• Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee Jest, and youthful Jollity, Quips, and Cranks, and wanton Wiles, Nods, and Becks, and wreathed Smiles, Such as hang on Hebe's cheek, And love to live in dimple sleek; Sport that wrinkled Care derides, And Laughter holding both his sides.

  John Milton

  Sports, Laughter, Nymphs

  John Milton, John Hunter (1864). “Milton's Comus, L'allegro, and Il Penseroso: With Numerous Illustrative Notes &c”, p.59

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• Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

  Will Rogers

  Inspiration, Science, Technology

  Will Rogers (1979). “Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams: The Hoover years, 1931-1933”, Will Rogers Heritage Trust

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• Some libs took offense at my David Broder quip earlier. In my own defense, I was taught in college it's OK to disrespect dead white males.

  James Taranto

  College, White, Disrespect

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• One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

  Bob Dole

  White, Evil, House

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• The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

  Adam Sandler

  Fun, Character, Boys

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• When I worked with Chevy Chase, Michael Ritchie would say, "Just ad lib and try to break me up. Just insult me. Anything." When we were doing his close-up, or when my back was to the camera, I would come up with jokes or quips or anything, to get a real reaction out of him. He was smart enough to know that was gold. So it was great fun working with him and Michael, and getting to see how the two worked together. I think Fletch and Clark Griswold were Chevy's two best roles. He's so incredibly talented and still vastly underused.

  Tim Matheson

  Fun, Real, Smart

  Source: film.avclub.com

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• If you ask the fish whether they'd rather have an oil spill or a season of fishing, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd vote for another blowout.

  Carl Safina

  Science, Fishing, Oil

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• I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters - I'm from an all female family. My father often quips that even the cat was neutered!

  Shirley Manson

  Family, Sister, Girlfriend

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• Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort Courteous; the second, the Quip Modest; the third, the Reply Churlish; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant; the fifth; the Countercheck Quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with Circumstance; the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you may avoid but the Lie Direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. . . . Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If.

  William Shakespeare

  Peace, Lying, Order

  'As You Like It' (1599) act 5, sc. 4, l. [108]

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• I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know where wittiness is constructive.

  Matthew McConaughey

  Witty, Thinking, Cynicism

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• I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.

  William Shakespeare

  Men, Thinking, Careers

  'Much Ado About Nothing' (1598-9) act 2, sc. 3, l. [262]

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• Quips and Cranks and wanton Wiles, Nods and Becks and wreathèd Smiles.

  John Milton

  Nymphs, Wreaths, Dimples

  'L'Allegro' (1645) l. 25

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