Quip Quotes - Page 2

• Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male.

  Ashton Kutcher

  Ice, Romance, Age

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• Because I am about to be devoured by poodles," I quip. "Remember me always, my love.

  Holly Black

  Poodles, Remember, Remember Me

  Holly Black (2012). “Red Glove”, p.281, Simon and Schuster

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• Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground-floor. But if a man hasn't got plenty of good common sense, the more science he has, the worse for his patient.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Science, Men, Common Sense

  Oliver Wendell Holmes (1887). “The "Breakfast-table" Series: The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table; The Professor at the Breakfast- Table; The Poet at the Breakfast- Table”

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• Time goes too quickly. This is the advice that my mother should have given me from her hospital bed. Instead of vague, unknowable quips like "Be careful what you wish for," she should have told me time slides away on a hillside of loose shale and takes everything in its path - dreams, opportunities, hopes. And youth. It takes that fastest of all.

  Kristin Hannah

  Mother, Dream, Opportunity

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• Ser Jaime?" Even in soiled pink satin and torn lace, Brienne looked more like a man in a gown than a proper woman."I am grateful, but...you were well away. Why come back?" A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. "I dreamed of you," he said.

  George R. R. Martin

  Grateful, Men, Mind

  George R. R. Martin (2003). “A Storm of Swords: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book Three”, p.631, Bantam

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• Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

  Evan Esar

  Science, Math, Statistics

  Esar's Comic Dictionary

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• A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow. When innovations are in the exploration stage, they need a champion to take them through the rest of the developmental stages. Otherwise the bureaucracy, politics, and people who can only see the fledgling and potential innovation through today's glasses will smother it or let it quietly die from malnourishment.

  Charles Bowers

  Change, Glasses, Ideas

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• The brain is an island in an osmotically homogeneous sea.

  Francis Daniels Moore

  Science, Islands, Sea

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• COLD. Healthier than heat.

  Gustave Flaubert

  Science, Heat, Cold

  Gustave Flaubert (1968). “Dictionary of Accepted Ideas”, p.25, New Directions Publishing

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• Radical transparency has an enormous impact on our personal lives. We can no longer share thoughts, quips, photos or personal opinions anywhere on the web without being mindful that they may turn up where we least expect it (notably job interviews, divorce proceedings or public media).

  Simon Mainwaring

  Jobs, Divorce, Media

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• He [Earl Scruggs] was really cool because he was very quiet, and he wouldn't say much, but then he would come out with a quip that was like so perfect and so brilliant, very smart.

  Earl Scruggs

  Smart, Perfect, Brilliant

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• People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions - words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant.

  Stephen Jay Gould

  Clever, People, One Liner

  Stephen Jay Gould (1995). “Dinosaur in a haystack: reflections in natural history”, Harmony

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• Ralph Keyes calls quotation collectors "quotographers," the men and women who gather catchwords, watchwords, war words, winged words, maxims, mottos, sayings, and quips into books of a thousand pages. Through the centuries quotation collectors have saved quotations that would otherwise be lost.

  Willis Regier

  War, Book, Men

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• Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee Jest, and youthful Jollity, Quips, and Cranks, and wanton Wiles, Nods, and Becks, and wreathed Smiles, Such as hang on Hebe's cheek, And love to live in dimple sleek; Sport that wrinkled Care derides, And Laughter holding both his sides.

  John Milton

  Sports, Laughter, Nymphs

  John Milton, John Hunter (1864). “Milton's Comus, L'allegro, and Il Penseroso: With Numerous Illustrative Notes &c”, p.59

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• In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about the barricades of our revolutions. So, at the assizes of the Last Judgment, there will always be a Frenchmen to crack a joke.

  Honore de Balzac

  People, Cracks, Matter

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• For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

  Michael Showalter

  Mean, Brooklyn Bridge, Bridges

  Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black Have Issues with Twitter" by Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black, www.esquire.com. July 29, 2009.

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• As a matter of fact, I am an uncle. I have nine nephews and nieces. I'm not sure if they think I'm all that quick with a quip. But I'm quick with a spank.

  Dean Norris

  Uncles, Niece, Thinking

  "Q&A – Dean Norris (Hank Schrader)". AMC Interview, www.amc.com. September 2011.

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• When I worked with Chevy Chase, Michael Ritchie would say, "Just ad lib and try to break me up. Just insult me. Anything." When we were doing his close-up, or when my back was to the camera, I would come up with jokes or quips or anything, to get a real reaction out of him. He was smart enough to know that was gold. So it was great fun working with him and Michael, and getting to see how the two worked together. I think Fletch and Clark Griswold were Chevy's two best roles. He's so incredibly talented and still vastly underused.

  Tim Matheson

  Fun, Real, Smart

  Source: film.avclub.com

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