America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.
You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.
The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
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