The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.
The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn.
This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.
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