Evan Esar Quotes - Page 7

Quotes about:

• The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.

  Evan Esar

  Listening, Sides, Argument

  9 Copy quote

• The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

  Evan Esar

  Nature, Brother, Zoos

  7 Copy quote

• A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.

  Evan Esar

  Fun, Losing, Loser

  7 Copy quote

• A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.

  Evan Esar

  Vacation, Like Love, Nostalgia

  23 Copy quote

• The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.

  Evan Esar

  Church, Lightning, Care

  12 Copy quote

• A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.

  Evan Esar

  Cards, Credit, Wallets

  11 Copy quote

• The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.

  Evan Esar

  Husband, Trying, Reform

  25 Copy quote

• Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.

  Evan Esar

  Together, Egotism, Egocentric

  11 Copy quote

• A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.

  Evan Esar

  Cards, Credit, Trouble

  9 Copy quote

• A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.

  Evan Esar

  Charming, Ready, Another Woman

  6 Copy quote

• Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.

  Evan Esar

  Sight, Planning, Hindsight

  17 Copy quote

• Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.

  Evan Esar

  Doctors, Done, Research

  4 Copy quote

• Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

  Evan Esar

  Husband, Divorce, Ifs

  8 Copy quote

• Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.

  Evan Esar

  Flower, Charm, Perfume

  6 Copy quote

• Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Age, Chess

  6 Copy quote

• The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.

  Evan Esar

  Unions, States, Depends

  4 Copy quote

• The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

  Evan Esar

  Divorce, Men, Three

  6 Copy quote

• A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Apples, Wife

  Evan Esar (1978). “The Comic Encyclopedia: A Library of the Literature and History of Humor Containing Thousands of Gags, Sayings, and Stories”, Doubleday Books

  5 Copy quote

• The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.

  Evan Esar

  Dance, Firsts, Modern

  7 Copy quote

• A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond

  Evan Esar

  Girl, Long, Care

  5 Copy quote

• To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.

  Evan Esar

  Teenager, Approval, Being True

  5 Copy quote

• If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.

  Evan Esar

  Want, Littles, Dignity

  5 Copy quote

• Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.

  Evan Esar

  Hair, Tears, Next

  9 Copy quote

• There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

  Evan Esar

  Debt, Term, Short Term

  6 Copy quote

• A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Vacation, Wife

  6 Copy quote

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