Scissors Quotes - Page 2

• What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

  Bob Saget

  Girlfriend, Car, Kitchen

  Twitter post from Aug 27, 2011

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• I gazed around the room and my eyes stopped dead on a little boy standing in the corner. This was a particularly eerie doll. Life-sized and blond-haired and blue-eyed. I saw a little Nazi boy, pockets probably stuffed with scissors and retractable blades. My grandfather on my mother's side was rumored to be half Jewish, which practically makes me Jerry Seinfeld's brother, and thus wary of blond German boys with their hands out of sight.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Mother, Brother, Eye

  Augusten Burroughs (2011). “Possible Side Effects”, p.69, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• If you really want space on public transport you should carry some pornography from the 1970s and a pair of children's safety scissors, then delicately cut out all the eyes of the glamour models whilst whistling. Every now and again mutter, 'Why are women more beautiful when they are eyeless?' You will be able to stretch out, though this can have ramifications such as ending up on a police list or being run out of town.

  Robin Ince

  Beautiful, Running, Children

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• I'm still going to love you, always. And in the rock-paper-scissors of life, love is rock. fear, anger, everthing else...no contest.

  Sara Zarr

  Love You, Love Life, Love Is

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• I love all things, not because they are passionate or sweet-smelling but because, I don't know, because this ocean is yours, and mine: these buttons and wheels and little forgotten treasures, fans upon whose feathers love has scattered its blossoms, glasses, knives and scissors -- all bear the trace of someone's fingers on their handle or surface, the trace of a distant hand lost in the depths of forgetfulness.

  Pablo Neruda

  Sweet, Ocean, Glasses

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• A long-playing full shot is what always separates the men from the boys. Anybody can make movies with a pair of scissors and a two-inch lens.

  Orson Welles

  Boys, Men, Two

  Orson Welles, Peter Bogdanovich (1992). “This is Orson Welles”, HarperCollins Publishers

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• A lot of my songs, they're like puzzle pieces, and there's just one way to put them together. You could, if you needed to, get the scissors out and cut up things to make them work. But I don't want to do that.

  Ryan Adams

  Song, Cutting, Together

  Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. June 28, 2007.

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• After all, wedlock is the natural state of man. A bachelor is not a complete human being. He is like the odd half of a pair of scissors, which has not yet found its fellow, and therefore is not even half so useful as they might be together.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Men, Together, Half

  Benjamin Franklin (1840). “The Works of Benjamin Franklin; Containing Several Political and Historical Tracts Not Included in Any Former Edition, and Many Letters, Official and Private, Not Hitherto Published; with Notes and a Life of the Author”, p.305

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• I like "Rock, Paper, Scissors Two-Thirds." You know. "Rock breaks scissors." "These scissors are bent. They're destroyed. I can't cut stuff. So I lose." "Scissors cuts paper." "These are strips. This is not even paper. It's gonna take me forever to put this back together." "Paper covers rock." "Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks." There should be "Rock, Dynamite with a Cutable Wick, Scissors."

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Cutting

  "Demetri Martin. Person". Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2007.

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• It is a sad mission to cut through and destroy with the scissors of analysis the delicate and iridescent veils with which our proud mediocrity clothes itself.

  Cesare Lombroso

  Cutting, Clothes, Analysis

  Cesare Lombroso (2017). “The Man of Genius”, p.11, Litres

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• I fireballed him as he was seeking out treasure after we wiped out a band of orcs, playing rock-paper-scissors with each orc to determine who would prevail in combat. This is a lot more exciting than it sounds. It's quite civilized, and a little weird. You go running after someone through the woods, catch up with him, bare your teeth, and sit down to play a little roshambo.

  Cory Doctorow

  Running, Rocks, Play

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• The sewing machine joins what the scissors have cut asunder, plus whatever else comes in its path.

  Mason Cooley

  Cutting, Machines, Path

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• I have never yet met anyone who did not think it was an agreeable sensation to cut tinfoil with scissors.

  Georg C. Lichtenberg

  Cutting, Thinking, Pleasure

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• I became depressed and I cut my self with scissors and stuff.

  Kelly Holmes

  Depression, Cutting, Self

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• You need a bad operation.
  Gimme the scissors, hammer, flame.

  Kool Keith

  Rap, Flames, Hip Hop

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• Something is unfolding, being revealed to me. I see that there's a whole world of of girls and their doings that has been unknown to me, and that I can be part of without making any effort at all. I don't have to keep up with anyone, run as fast, aim as well, make loud explosive noises, decode messages, die on cue. I don't have to think about whether I do these things well, as well as a boy. All I have to do is sit on the floor and cut frying pans our of the Eaton's Catalogue with embroidery scissors, and say I've done it badly.

  Margaret Atwood

  Girl, Running, Cutting

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• One of the things that adds tension to our lives is small frustrations. Losing car keys can give you a panic attack. Not being able to find a comb when you get out of the shower, losing scissors and nail clippers, can make you fight with your roommate. The problem is that we think that these things are not supposed to happen to us. And that's what makes us tense. We think we can avoid these frustrations by making ourselves and others be more careful. I like to take the opposite tack-to assume that these things are a part of life and that they will happen no matter what.

  Jennifer James

  Fighting, Frustration, Thinking

  Jennifer James (1986). “Success Is the Quality of Your Journey”, William Morrow Paperbacks

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• Used to be marketing was viewed as the people with crayons and scissors who did creative work. Now it's seen as central to driving growth.

  Jim Speros

  People, Creative, Growth

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• She had to give her teachers credit: they were right to insist all pupils carry scissors, handkerchiefs, perfume and hair ribbons at all times. At some point she'd learn why they also required a red lace doily and a lemon.

  Gail Carriger

  Teacher, Hair, Giving

  Gail Carriger (2013). “Etiquette and Espionage: Number 1 in series”, p.99, Hachette UK

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• A beautiful eyelash is an important adjunct to the eye. The lashes may be lengthened by trimming them occasionally in childhood. Care should be taken that this trimming is done neatly and evenly, and especially that the points of the scissors do not penetrate the eye.

  Eliza Bisbee Duffey

  Beautiful, Taken, Eye

  Eliza Bisbee Duffey (1877). “The Ladies' and Gentlemen's Etiquette: A Complete Manual of the Manners and Dress of American Society. Containing Forms of Letters, Invitations, Acceptances and Regrets. With a Copious Index”

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• We might as well reasonably dispute whether it is the upper or the under blade of a pair of scissors that cuts a piece of paper, as whether value is governed by demand or supply.

  Alfred Marshall

  Cutting, Pieces, Paper

  Alfred Marshall (2009). “Principles of Economics: Unabridged Eighth Edition”, p.290, Cosimo, Inc.

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• Vade Mecum I want the scissors to be sharp and the table perfectly level when you cut me out of my life and paste me in that book you always carry.

  Billy Collins

  Book, Cutting, Levels

  Billy Collins (2012). “Taking Off Emily Dickinson's Clothes”, p.46, Pan Macmillan

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• I thought you could play ... You've got nothing. Where's the big hair? I brought my scissors today so I could cut the hair. You've got nothing.

  Terry Hill

  Cutting, Hair, Rugby League

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• Three days after my boyfriend left me, I discovered a closetful of his clothes. I thought of what I'd done in the past (bundling them up and sending them, COD: distributing them to my friends) even as I already had the scissors in hand and was cutting his shirts and a pair of pants into teeny pieces. When there was nothing left of his ghost except a large pile of cloth, I decided to learn how to quilt.

  Anne Elizabeth Moore

  Quilts, Cutting, Past

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• Just because you can leap off a drum kit doing a scissors kick while hitting a chord, people expect you to be an extrovert socially. But I'm not always comfortable with the idea of small talk at a party.

  Alex Kapranos

  Party, Ideas, People

  "Bringing Sexy Back". Interview with Scott Frampton, www.marieclaire.com. January 6, 2008.

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