Toilets Quotes - Page 15

• He wanted to go running home to Mommy, what can I say? Of course, it's hard for me to believe that anyone would choose to step out of the FAYZ. I mean, where else do you get to eat rats, use your backyard for a toilet, and live in fear for nineteen different kinds of scary?" -Howard

  Michael Grant

  Running, Believe, Mean

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• Tell me something, Adron. Sometime you’ve never shared with anyone else. Not even Thia. (Livia) I’m the one who glued Zarina to the toilet seat when she was seven. (Adron)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Toilet Seat, Seven, Seats

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• A long white ribbon shot out of the crack in the wall. The ribbon just kept coming, weaving itself into some kind of shape next to Anubis, and my first thought was, My god, he’s got a magic roll of toilet paper.

  Rick Riordan

  Wall, White, Long

  Rick Riordan (2010). “The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles Book 1): The Red Pyramid”, p.284, Penguin UK

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• Is there a phone I can use? (Talon) In the kitchen. (Sunshine) Could you please bring it to me? (Talon) It’s not cordless. I always lose those things or I drop them someplace and break them. The last one I had ended up drowning in the toilet. (Sunshine)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Sunshine, Phones, Kitchen

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• I tell myself that's what you get when you put thirty-one toilets on the most popular girl's front yard. People tend to treat you a little differently than before.

  Kathryn Stockett

  Girl, People, Yards

  Kathryn Stockett (2011). “The Help”, p.533, Penguin UK

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• The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

  Eoin Colfer

  Boys, Miracle, Mud

  Eoin Colfer (2005). “Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code - Book #3”, Miramax

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• If a life goes down the toilet, it comes out in a river and meets the sea.

  Carol Plum-Ucci

  Sea, Rivers, Ifs

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• The most work he did on [the urinals] was to run a brush once or twice apiece, singing some song as loud as he could in time to the swishing brush; then he'd splash in some Clorox and he'd be through. ... And when the Big Nurse...came in to check McMurphy's cleaning assignment personally, she brought a little compact mirror and she held it under the rim of the bowls. She walked along shaking her head and saying, "Why, this is an outrage... an outrage..." at every bowl. McMurphy sidled right along beside her, winking down his nose and saying in answer, "No; that's a toilet bowl...a TOILET bowl.

  Ken Kesey

  Running, Song, Mcmurphy

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• Angela had done a marvelous job, I tell you. The puke was everywhere except the toilet. The walls, the floor, the sinks - even on the ceiling, though don't ask me how she did that. So there I was, perched on all fours, cleaning up the puke at the homecoming dance in my best blue suit, which was exactly what I had wanted to avoid in the first place. And Jamie, my date, was on all fours, too, doing exactly the same thing.

  Nicholas Sparks

  Jobs, Wall, Blue

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• Whasthat!" "Um ... those are the toilets.

  Rick Riordan

  Rick Riordan (2008). “Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters”, p.42, Penguin UK

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• This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?

  Christopher Moore

  Men, Thinking, Fire

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story”, p.17, Simon and Schuster

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• There were other stories and other names. Second Base Stace, who had breasts in fourth grade and let some of the boys feel them. Vincent, who took acid and tried to flush a sofa down the toilet. Sheila, who allegedly masturbated with a hot dog and had to go to the emergency room. The list went on and on.

  Stephen Chbosky

  Dog, Boys, Names

  Stephen Chbosky (2013). “The Perks of Being a Wallflower YA edition”, p.152, Simon and Schuster

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• We're living in a funny world kid, a peculiar civilization. The police are playing crooks in it, and the crooks are doing police duty. The politicians are preachers, and the preachers are politicians. The tax collectors collect for themselves. The Bad People want us to have more dough, and the good people are fighting to keep it from us. It's not good for us, know what I mean? If we had all we wanted to eat, we'd eat too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry. That's the way I understand it. That's about the size of some of the arguments I've heard.

  Jim Thompson

  Mean, Kids, Fighting

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• The burden of keeping three people in toilet paper seemed to me rather a heavy one.

  Barbara Pym

  People, Three, Paper

  Barbara Pym (2006). “Excellent Women”, p.16, Penguin

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• Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum.

  J. K. Rowling

  Owl, Hogwarts, Toilet Seat

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• If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.

  Richard Kadrey

  Gold, Rooms, Would Be

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• I wasn't paying attention," said Myrtle dramatically. "Peeves upset me so much I came in here and tried to kill myself. Then, of course, I remembered that I'm -- that I'm --" "Already dead," said Ron hopefully. Myrtle gave a tragic sob, rose up in the air, turned over, and dived headfirst into the toilet, splashing water all over them and vanishing from sight, although from the direction of her muffled sobs, she had come to rest somewhere in the U-bend.

  J. K. Rowling

  Sight, Air, Water

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• I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat.

  Nate Dogg

  Weed, Believe, Rap

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• Most people in America want an easy read. I call it McFiction - books which pass right through you without you even digesting them. I don't mean a book that has two-syllable words. I mean chapters you can read in a toilet break. Happy endings. We are more of a TV culture.

  Jodi Picoult

  Book, Mean, Two

  "The great unknown". Interview with Louise France, www.theguardian.com. April 14, 2007.

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• I rubbed the contents of one bag onto my upper arm on the evening of June 7, just before I went to bed. I thought: Well, it can't hurt. I flushed the packaging down the toilet.

  Patrik Sinkewitz

  Hurt, June, Arms

  Source: www.spiegel.de

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• Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle window. Only the view is different.

  Ben Hecht

  Writing, Views, Castles

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• Once upon a time I was riding on the top of a First Avenue bus, when I heard a mythical housewife say to another, "Molly, my dear, I would have bought that new brand of toilet soap if only they hadn't set the body copy in ten point Garamond." Don't you believe it. What really decides consumers to buy or not to buy is the content of your advertising, not its form.

  David Ogilvy

  Believe, Once Upon A Time, Riding

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• You have to offer sort of an evolution visually and do things like you've never seen before, like a fight between two men in a toilet on an airplane which was very exciting.

  Jaume Collet-Serra

  Airplane, Fighting, Men

  Source: collider.com

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• I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

  Ethel Merman

  Two, Rooms, Next

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• Tell me why it is that a toddler will gag over a perfectly wonderful breakfast of ham, eggs, biscuits, juice, and jelly. But then he will enthusiastically drink the dog's water and play in the toilet. Truly, he is his mother's greatest challenge...; and her most inexpressible joy.

  James Dobson

  Mother, Dog, Play

  37 Copy quote