I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
There's no place like home. And there's no toilet like your own.
I think toilets are more important than temples.
My name is only an anagram of toilets.
There are some ghost stories in Japan where - when you are sitting in the bathroom in the traditional style of the Japanese toilet - a hand is actually starting to grab you from beneath. It's a very scary story.
Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
Life before toilet paper was not worth living.
Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.
I think toilets are more important than temples. No matter how many temples we go to, we are not going to get salvation. We need to give priority to toilets and cleanliness.
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?
You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.
The world is divided up into two kinds of people - those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't.
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.
The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.
Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.
I cleaned toilets and shined shoes.
Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while and that was to help me get through school.
Schools across India do not have teachers, libraries, playing grounds and even toilets. I do not want to see empty classrooms, empty libraries. I do not want to see cattle grazing on fields meant to be cricket or football grounds.
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