Toilets Quotes

• There's no place like home. And there's no toilet like your own.

  Taylor York

  Home, Like You

  12 Copy quote

• I think toilets are more important than temples.

  Narendra Modi

  Thinking, Important, Temples

  14 Copy quote

• I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

  Andy Rooney

  Life, Paper, I've Learned

  41 Copy quote

• My name is only an anagram of toilets.

  T. S. Eliot

  Names, Anagrams

  55 Copy quote

• Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

  Richard Jeni

  Important, Paper, Seems

  14 Copy quote

• I think toilets are more important than temples. No matter how many temples we go to, we are not going to get salvation. We need to give priority to toilets and cleanliness.

  Jairam Ramesh

  Thinking, Giving, Priorities

  13 Copy quote

• People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

  Billy Connolly

  People, Needs, Thanks

  6 Copy quote

• Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not.

  Geoffrey Hill

  Doe, Duty

  7 Copy quote

• Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.

  Barry Humphries

  Funny, Country, Humor

  26 Copy quote

• The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

  Ronnie Barker

  Inspirational, Funny, Police

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  53 Copy quote

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• The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.

  Orson Scott Card

  Reason, Elimination, Process

  Orson Scott Card (2013). “Ender's Game Boxed Set: Ender's Game, Ender's Shadow”, p.99, Macmillan

  3 Copy quote

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• Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Travel, Wings

  26 Copy quote

• When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.

  Dana Gould

  Doors, Sound, Window

  "10 hilarious tweets from the great Dana Gould" by Liana Maeby, uproxx.com. January 21, 2014.

  7 Copy quote

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• You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

  George Carlin

  Feelings, Chocolate, Bars

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  31 Copy quote

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• I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?

  Wendy Liebman

  Mother, Memorable, Cat

  8 Copy quote

• There comes a time in every man's life when he needs his own toilet.

  Patrick Süskind

  Men, Needs, There Comes A Time

  11 Copy quote

• Life before toilet paper was not worth living.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Paper, Toilet Paper, Worth Living

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2013). “Styxx”, p.866, Macmillan

  3 Copy quote

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• It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

  Rod Serling

  Funny, Dance, Humor

  61 Copy quote

• You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.

  Bill Watterson

  New York, Reading, Character

  Source: www.tcj.com

  8 Copy quote

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• The world is divided up into two kinds of people - those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't.

  John Gregory Dunne

  Two, People, Looks

  John Gregory Dunne (2007). “Nothing Lost”, p.329, Vintage

  6 Copy quote

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• If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?

  David Sedaris

  Saws, Scream, Leprechaun

  "Author, Author?" by David Sedaris, www.newyorker.com. March 30, 2009.

  10 Copy quote

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• Schools across India do not have teachers, libraries, playing grounds and even toilets. I do not want to see empty classrooms, empty libraries. I do not want to see cattle grazing on fields meant to be cricket or football grounds.

  Sachin Tendulkar

  Football, Teacher, School

  "'I am not in a race with Anna Hazare'". Interview with Shantanu Guha Ray, indiatoday.intoday.in. October 7, 2011.

  41 Copy quote

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• Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

  Joey Bishop

  Money, Thinking, Gas Stations

  17 Copy quote

• I cleaned toilets and shined shoes.

  Rick Santorum

  Shoes

  6 Copy quote

• Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while and that was to help me get through school.

  Mia Love

  Growing Up, Dad, School

  "In Utah, GOP House Candidate Out To Make History". "All Things Considered" with Audie Cornish, www.npr.org. May 3, 2012.

  6 Copy quote

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