Toilets Quotes - Page 5

• I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

  David Feherty

  Golf, Doors, Prawns

  23 Copy quote

• Dead girl walking” the boys say in the halls. “Tell us your secrets” the girls whisper, one toilet to another. "I am that girl. I am the spaces between my thighs, daylight shinning through. I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.

  Laurie Halse Anderson

  Girl, Boys, Space

  32 Copy quote

• Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.

  Cynthia Heimel

  Airplane, Men, Feet

  7 Copy quote

• Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.

  Kevin Hearne

  Ideas, Two, People

  Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.293, Del Rey

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• Since the invention of the flush toilet and the vacuum carpet cleaner, the modern man seems to judge a man's moral standards by his cleanliness, and thinks a dog the more highly civilized for having a weekly bath and a winter wrapper round his belly.

  Lin Yutang

  Dog, Winter, Men

  Yutang Lin (1939). “My country and my people”

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• In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

  Mark Twain

  Book, Ideas, America

  Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.4281, Delphi Classics

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• I won't eat in a restaurant with filthy bathrooms. This isn't a hard call. They let you see the bathrooms. If the restaurant can't be bothered to replace the puck in the urinal or keep the toilets and floors clean, then just imagine what their refrigeration and work spaces look like.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Space, Looks, Puck

  Anthony Bourdain (2001). “Kitchen Confidential”, p.68, A&C Black

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• Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper

  Daphne Zuniga

  Paper, Forests, Toilet Paper

  16 Copy quote

• Neil Shepard's (T)RAVEL/ UN(T)RAVEL takes us from the sublime -- Paris in Spring, sunset on Corfu -- to an unscheduled toilet stop in a Chinese desert as fellow passengers cheer. Yes, there's light at the heart of this book; but darkness too, as the world and the traveler unravel and re-ravel, fall together, come apart. Shepard proves the best sort of traveling companion -- lively, observant, incisive, eloquent, charmed by the strange and familiar, the old and new. Climb aboard these poems. Enjoy the ride.

  Charles Harper Webb

  Cheer, Spring, Fall

  4 Copy quote

• I think women are really vicious in the work place, they're really jealous, really competitive. Women are emotional, they cry in toilets. The sisterhood only extends as far as the kitchen door. Men talk in logic and rational terms, they don't squark and make a noise.

  Katie Hopkins

  Jealous, Sisterhood, Men

  6 Copy quote

• When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back

  Robin Williams

  Inspiration, Speed, Used

  6 Copy quote

• From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

  Ade Edmondson

  People, Age, Roaring

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Don't get married in a house where there is no toilet.

  Jairam Ramesh

  House, Married

  "Indian sanitation minister tells young women not to get married into families who don't own toilets" By Amy Silverstein, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 22, 2012.

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• How can you put on a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper?

  Rod Serling

  Meaningful, Drama, Dancing

  "American Masters (Rod Serling: Submitted for Your Approval)". TV Series, November 29, 1995.

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• An animal on a leash is not tamed by the owner. The owner is extending himself through the leash to that part of his personality which is pure dog, that part of him which just wants to eat, sleep, bark, hump chairs, wet the floor in joy, and drink out of a toilet bowl.

  Diane Ackerman

  Dog, Sleep, Animal

  Diane Ackerman (2011). “A Natural History of Love: Author of the National Bestseller A Natural History of the Senses”, p.329, Vintage

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• I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wwe, Tic Tacs, Needs

  12 Copy quote

• Did you ever notice that America is shaped like one big, giant toilet bowl?

  Bret Hart

  Wwe, America, Giants

  22 Copy quote

• Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.

  Frank Zappa

  Book, Use, Dropping

  6 Copy quote

• Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!

  Stephen Colbert

  Mean, Thinking, Waiting

  4 Copy quote

• A small girl became increasingly paralysed by her parents' frequently violent rows. Sometimes she would spend hours standing completely still in the toilet, simply because that was where she happened to be when the fight began. Finally, in moments of calm, she would take bottles of milk from the fridge or doorstep and leave them in places where she may later become trapped. Her parents were unable to understand why they found bottles of sour milk in every room in the house.

  Sarah Kane

  Girl, Fighting, Sour Milk

  Sarah Kane, David Greig (2001). “Kane: Complete Plays: Blasted; Phaedra's Love; Cleansed; Crave; 4.48 Psychosis; Skin”, p.185, A&C Black

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• Rochelle," she calls out, still looking at me. "Is there anyone down at the desk? I need something." I'm too startled to move. Is she going to tell on me, get me in trouble? Rochelle's gotten up; she's banging the toilet stall doors open one by one, checking to make sure no one's in there. When the last stall turns up empty, she gives Amanda an annoyed look. "What do you need this time of night?" Amanda smiles at me, then turns to face Rochelle. "A tampon

  Patricia McCormick

  Moving, Night, Doors

  Patricia McCormick (2000). “Cut”, Front Street Incorporated

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• Leadership is about keeping toilets flushing," the Admiral once said. "Unless you're on the battlefront. Then it's about staying alive. Neither are pleasant.

  Neal Shusterman

  Alive, Said, Flushing

  Neal Shusterman (2012). “Unwholly”, p.79, Simon and Schuster

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• I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.

  Rick Riordan

  Plumbing

  Rick Riordan (2013). “Percy Jackson: The Complete Series”, p.74, Penguin UK

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• It's now come out just before his record-breaking 100-meter dash, gold medalist Usain Bolt ate at McDonald's. Apparently he timed his meal so when the race started he would have exactly 9.63 seconds to get to a toilet.

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Race, Mcdonalds

  12 Copy quote

• There is no knowing beyond that membrane, the meniscus of death. What can be seen from here is distorted, refracted. All we can know are those untrustworthy glimpses--that and rumour. The prattle. The dead gossip: it is the reverberation of that gossip against the surface tension of death that the better mediums hear. It is like listening to whispered secrets through a toilet door. It is a crude and muffled susurrus.

  China Mieville

  Death, Knowing, Doors

  8 Copy quote