Toilets Quotes - Page 6

• Any outfit that can't figure out clean toilets and decent theming on its own can't benefit from my advice.

  Cory Doctorow

  Advice, Benefits, Clean

  Cory Doctorow (2015). “Makers”, p.345, Booklassic

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• The [sexual harassment] situation has gotten so out of hand that, in 1993, in one of the first British cases, a plumber was fired for continuing to use the traditional term "ballcock" for the toilet flotation unit, instead of the new politically correct term, sanitized of sexual suggestiveness. This is insane. We are back to the Victorian era, when table legs had to be draped lest they put the thought of ladies' legs into someone's dirty mind.

  Camille Paglia

  Dirty, Hands, Mind

  "No Law in the Arena: A Pagan Theory of Sexuality". Camille Paglia, Vamps and Tramps, 1994.

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• Art is borne out of necessity. Music is a tool and men are doers. When a relationship is working, you don't need to write a song-you need to get toilet paper.

  Sxip Shirey

  Song, Art, Writing

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• Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.

  Frank Zappa

  Book, Use, Dropping

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• Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!

  Stephen Colbert

  Mean, Thinking, Waiting

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• A small girl became increasingly paralysed by her parents' frequently violent rows. Sometimes she would spend hours standing completely still in the toilet, simply because that was where she happened to be when the fight began. Finally, in moments of calm, she would take bottles of milk from the fridge or doorstep and leave them in places where she may later become trapped. Her parents were unable to understand why they found bottles of sour milk in every room in the house.

  Sarah Kane

  Girl, Fighting, Sour Milk

  Sarah Kane, David Greig (2001). “Kane: Complete Plays: Blasted; Phaedra's Love; Cleansed; Crave; 4.48 Psychosis; Skin”, p.185, A&C Black

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• Rochelle," she calls out, still looking at me. "Is there anyone down at the desk? I need something." I'm too startled to move. Is she going to tell on me, get me in trouble? Rochelle's gotten up; she's banging the toilet stall doors open one by one, checking to make sure no one's in there. When the last stall turns up empty, she gives Amanda an annoyed look. "What do you need this time of night?" Amanda smiles at me, then turns to face Rochelle. "A tampon

  Patricia McCormick

  Moving, Night, Doors

  Patricia McCormick (2000). “Cut”, Front Street Incorporated

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• Leadership is about keeping toilets flushing," the Admiral once said. "Unless you're on the battlefront. Then it's about staying alive. Neither are pleasant.

  Neal Shusterman

  Alive, Said, Flushing

  Neal Shusterman (2012). “Unwholly”, p.79, Simon and Schuster

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• I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.

  Rick Riordan

  Plumbing

  Rick Riordan (2013). “Percy Jackson: The Complete Series”, p.74, Penguin UK

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• Admittedly, I do have several bones... whole war fields full of bones, in fact... to pick with organised religion of whatever stripe. This should be seen as a critique of purely temporal agencies who have, to my mind, erected more obstacles between whatever notion of spirituality and Godhead one subscribes to than they have opened doors. To me, the difference between Godhead and the Church is the difference between Elvis and Colonel Parker... although that conjures images of God dying on the toilet, which is not what I meant at all.

  Alan Moore

  War, Doors, Differences

  "Correspondence: From Hell". Alan Moore and Dave Sim, "Cerebus" #220 (comic book series by Dave Sim), July 1, 1997.

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• There is no knowing beyond that membrane, the meniscus of death. What can be seen from here is distorted, refracted. All we can know are those untrustworthy glimpses--that and rumour. The prattle. The dead gossip: it is the reverberation of that gossip against the surface tension of death that the better mediums hear. It is like listening to whispered secrets through a toilet door. It is a crude and muffled susurrus.

  China Mieville

  Death, Knowing, Doors

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• Liberals retain a totemic attachment to the Freudian idea that traumatic toilet training is destiny.

  Ilana Mercer

  Destiny, Attachment, Ideas

  "Coddling Killers". spectator.org. December 29, 2004.

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• I confess to a rare problem - gynekinetophobia, or the fear of women falling on me - but this is a rather mild illness compared with many affluent suburbanites, who have developed an almost total zoophobia, or fear of anything that moves. It is, as any traveller can confirm, a complaint best developed in the affluent North American, and it seems to be part of blue toilet dyes, air fresheners, lots of paper tissues, and two showers a day.

  Bill Mollison

  Moving, Fall, Air

  "Permaculture: A Designers' Manual". Book by Bill Mollison, 1988.

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• Man who stands on toilet, gets high on pot!

  Katharine Hepburn

  Funny, Men, Getting High

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• You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

  Kami Garcia

  Humorous, Crap

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• It's now come out just before his record-breaking 100-meter dash, gold medalist Usain Bolt ate at McDonald's. Apparently he timed his meal so when the race started he would have exactly 9.63 seconds to get to a toilet.

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Race, Mcdonalds

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• When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.

  Louis C. K.

  Fathers Day, Kids, Long

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• Right now I'm scoring goals and I'm the king of the world. And a couple weeks ago I was almost in the toilet. So maybe you just forget to flush me.

  Alexander Ovechkin

  Kings, Couple, Hockey

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• I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

  David Feherty

  Golf, Doors, Prawns

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• People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.

  Louis C. K.

  Inspirational, Funny, Baby

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• When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore. And a lot of fathers live in kind of an avoidance. They sit on the toilet for several hours a day... Oh, honey, it took me 40 minutes to go to the post office... But once you become a dad without the mom there, you have to take it all on, and you sort of activate male skills that you didn't know you could apply to fatherhood.

  Louis C. K.

  Mother, Running, Dad

  "Comedian Louis C.K.: Finding Laughs Post-Divorce". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. July 7, 2010.

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• Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Paper, Toothpaste

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• Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Jobs, Lying, Humorous

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.42, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.

  Joseph Epstein

  Jobs, Cat, Animal

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• I'd grown up thinking that a [sanitary toilet] was my right, when in fact it's a privilege - 2.5 billion people worldwide have no adequate toilet.

  Rose George

  Thinking, People, Privilege

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