Uncles Quotes - Page 6

• Sure, my uncle killed himself playing Russian Roulette. But I choose to remember him as a great Russian Roulette player.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Player, Roulette, Remember

  Twitter post from Jul 03, 2010

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• Everyone always says, Does it bother you that Italians are always portrayed as Mafia characters? No, it doesn't bother me. First of all, not everybody in my family is in the Mafia. I have one uncle who's clean.

  Dom Irrera

  Character, Mafia, Firsts

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• My uncle was the first one in my family to get a telephone. It was like going to the moon. He came running over to tell us, and we were so proud. A telephone! We didn't have to go to the candy store to phone any more. We went around telling everyone. But we didn't hear from my uncle for three days, so my father got worried. He said, Let's go over there. We got there, and my uncle was very depressed. I asked, What's the matter? He said, I got a telephone and nobody called me. He didn't give his number out - he didn't know that you had to!

  Pat Cooper

  Running, Father, Moon

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• The kind uncles and aunts of the race are more esteemed than its true spiritual fathers and mothers.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Mother, Spiritual, Father

  Henry David Thoreau (2012). “The Portable Thoreau”, p.194, Penguin

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• In other words, science tells us that Adam and Eve are fictions. That Saint Paul or Uncle Tom Cobley and all thought otherwise is irrelevant. They were wrong.

  Michael Ruse

  Saint, Fiction, Adam

  "Adam and Eve Didn’t Exist. Get Over It!" by Michael Ruse, www.huffingtonpost.com. June 10, 2011.

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• Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

  Bobcat Goldthwait

  Dark, Differences, Nephew

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• During my youth, the idea of moving from Lebanon was unthinkable. Then I began to realise I might have to go, like my grandfather, uncles and others who left for America, Egypt, Australia, Cuba.

  Amin Maalouf

  Moving, Egypt, Ideas

  "A son of the road" by Maya Jaggi, www.theguardian.com. November 15, 2002.

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• My mother is a singer, my sisters all sing, my uncles are incredible singers and guitar players, so it's just kind of been like my habitat.

  Bruno Mars

  Mother, Player, Guitar

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• I was born in love with music. My mother is a singer, many of my aunts and uncles on my mother's side are musical, my grandparents sang and played blues piano. It's literally in my blood. My mother wrote an original song to teach me the days of the week.

  India.Arie

  Mother, Song, Aunt

  Source: www.ebony.com

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• Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

  W. C. Fields

  Men, Giving, Honest

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• And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon. "Well..." said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley.

  J. K. Rowling

  Eye, Men, Pushing Back

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• i remember we all cried like the Missouri when my Uncle Sol's coffin lurched because somebody pressed a button (and down went my uncle Sol and started a worm farm)

  e. e. cummings

  Buttons, Coffins, Remember

  E. E. Cummings (1996). “Is 5”, p.11, W. W. Norton & Company

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• My uncle ordered popovers from the restaurant's bill of fare. And, when they were served, he regarded them with a penetrating stare. Then he spoke great words of wisdom as he sat there on that chair: "To eat these things," said my uncle, "You must exercise great care. You may swallow down what's solid, but you must spit out the air!" And as you partake of the world's bill of fare, that's darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.

  Dr. Seuss

  Exercise, Air, Advice

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• What Uncle Leo XIII never suspected was that his nephew's courage did not come from the need to survive or from a brute indifference inherited from his father, but from a driving need for love, which no obstacle in this world or the next would ever break.

  Gabriel Garcia Marquez

  Father, Nephew, Needs

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• He [Uncle Vernon] held up the envelope in which Mrs. Weasley’s letter had come, and Harry had to fight down a laugh. Every bit of it was covered in stamps except for a square inch on the front, into which Mrs. Weasley had squeezed the Dursleys’ address in minute writing. “She did put enough stamps on, then,” said Harry, trying to sound as though Mrs. Weasley’s was a mistake anyone could make.

  J. K. Rowling

  Mistake, Writing, Fighting

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• The sons of York will destroy each other, one brother destroying another, uncles devouring nephews, fathers beheading sons. They are a house which has to have blood, and they will shed their own if they have no other enemy.

  Philippa Gregory

  Brother, Father, Son

  Philippa Gregory (2009). “The White Queen”, Simon and Schuster

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• As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across premieval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Cousin, Aunt, Circles

  The Inimitable Jeeves (1923) ch. 16

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• If we can believe in the Gnostic gospel of Thomas, old Uncle Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is inside you, what you bring forth will save you. If you don't bring forth what is inside you, what you bring forth can destroy you.

  Anne Lamott

  Jesus, Believe, Said

  Anne Lamott (2007). “Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life”, p.199, Anchor

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• The room was quiet, the others flicking glances at me. I ignored them. After years in Sounis's palaces being eyed with disgust by my uncle and my own father and courtier after courtier, I assure you I am unrivaled at pretending not to notice other people's glances.

  Megan Whalen Turner

  Father, Years, People

  Megan Whalen Turner (2010). “A Conspiracy of Kings”, Greenwillow

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• Ha!' said the tall man drily. 'He was in high luck. Rich old uncles who die are in shockingly short supply.

  Susanna Clarke

  Men, Luck, Rich

  Susanna Clarke (2009). “Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell”, p.59, Bloomsbury Publishing

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• That might work," I said. "I'm good at faking it." This led to a couple moments of uncomfortable silence from both of us. "You didn't mean... ?" Morelli asked. "No. Of course not." "Never?" "Maybe once." His eyes narrowed. "Once?" "It's all that comes to mind. It was the time we were late for your Uncle Spud's birthday party." "I remember that. That was great. You're telling me you faked it?" "We were late! I couldn't concentrate. It seemed like the best way to go.

  Janet Evanovich

  Couple, Party, Mean

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• Men!" "At least we don't fake it." "Listen, it was your uncle. And we were late, remember? So I made the sacrifice and got us there in time for dessert. You should be thanking me." Morelli's mouth was open slightly and his face was registering a mixture of astonished disbelief and wounded, pissed-off male pride. Okay, it wasn't that much of a sacrifice at the time, and I knew he shouldn't be thanking me, but give me a break here... this wasn't famine in Ethiopia

  Janet Evanovich

  Pride, Sacrifice, Men

  Janet Evanovich (2010). “Eleven on Top”, p.192, Macmillan

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• But I had no plans to end my own life, and accidents couldn't be predicted. Neither could murder, unless my aunt and uncle were planning to take me out themselves.

  Rachel Vincent

  Aunt, Planning, Murder

  Rachel Vincent (2009). “My Soul to Take”, p.100, Harlequin

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• I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.

  Louise Rennison

  Rude, Want, Way

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• Face it, you stupid little cookie maker,” Jenks said, almost sounding fond, “in the last couple of days you’ve seen what it’s like to be in a family, with all the touchy tempers and irritation that goes on. Now you get to see the other side, where we do stupid stuff for each other just because we like you. Rache is the little sister. Ivy’s the big sister. I’m the uncle from out of state, and you’re the rich nephew no one likes but we put up with you anyway because we feel sorry for you. Just let me help, huh? It won’t kill you.

  Kim Harrison

  Sorry, Couple, Stupid

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